Let me Out! Please...

 Mars had moved back into Cancer and it was 

telling her to write again.

Why did she ever stop writing? 

She didn't even really know. 

Maybe Mars in Cancer was her truth?

and therefore needed to be written out. 

She would write 

and it would catch the attention

of those who read her words. 

It was an expression of what she held deep inside. 

But what was bursting to come out this time?

She was in the middle of her shadow healing

and she realized that Mars in Cancer was trying to tell her

a secret. 

But what was this secret?

People all around her were trying to be so inviting.

Yet, at every turn she found herself unable to be 

patient enough. 

She always jumped the gun and found a way to make 

things work for herself. 

Alone. 

She didn't need anyone. 

She wasn't going to depend on anyone. 

Never again. 

But when did she ever really depend on anyone?

She looked over her life and realized that the 

answer was NEVER. 

She closed that door a long long time ago. 

She had been running this life all alone

 for a very long time. 

It was the safest way. 

But she was getting tired. 

As much as she pushed herself, 

her body was collapsing on her. 

Her right foot was blistering. 

It was mad at her choices. 

But what was she to do? 

People around her all wanted her to change,

or

else....

They would leave her... 

Abandon her. 

Reject her. 

And she was left with the grief of 

not being good enough as she was. 

But being someone she really wasn't  was really taking 

a toll on her. 

And she just couldn't do it anymore. 

But so then what was the answer? 

And if it was so easy....

The why couldn't she see it?

She read somewhere that she needed to 

write out exactly what she wished to create on this earth 

so that the universe could co-create with her. 

So what was it that she wanted to create?

All she could see though was a wall. 

A protective wall. 

But was it really protection? 

Or was it a prison?

Had she been keeping herself locked up? 

Is that why nothing worked? 

It was time to unlock the door. 

But where was the key?

Her Heart?

She heard a cry... 

A plead... 

For Mercy... 

For forgiveness.

Could she give it to herself? 

That was the hardest thing she faced. 

But she did it. 

And there she found the key!

But then she realized that the hardest part 

was never in the forgiving, 

but it was in the willingness to unlock the door

and set herself free. 

Uncertainty scared her to the core. 

Because the last time she had allowed uncertainty 

to lead her, 

she was left all alone with strangers. 

The very people she loved

had left her. 

And she was so scared that she took the hand

of illusion

and ran with it. 

Beating herself up

always, 

just to fit in.

But it never really worked. 

She had become a chaser. 

A fearful little broken woman...

But was that really her truth? 

She knew better... 

Now it was time to actually act on it. 

But would she? 

Could she?