Lie, Cheat, & Steal Twins

As long as he was talking about his troubles

with other females, 

she was rather fond of their pretty messed up 

conversations. 

She basically just played along as the buddy buddy 

who hyped him up no matter what he was saying.

However, 

all that changed when they found themselves 

together...

alone...

with only the night time darkness between them.

They walked off to the patch of trees between the brightly lit 

streets. 

There, he asked her a thought provoking question and

sat down on a green electric box. 

As she sat down next to him, 

explaining the answer to his question, 

he cut her off with a quick abrupt kiss on the lips.

She was expecting a spark to kick in, 

but it never did.

Something wasn't right...

So She immediately said, 

"My bus"!

And they both jumped up and ran out to the 

light filled streets where there they saw exactly that,

her bus. 

She tells him, bye, but he says no, I'm coming with you.

She feels the fear rise in her chest. 

No!

You can't!

she exclaimed through serious fear.

And from there, the whole night began to twist up

way more then the cords to a pair of headphones.

 She felt as though she had walked into the 

Twilight Zone!

The whole night she heard herself telling him 

No,

 repeatedly, 

as if that was the only word she knew. 

But it was also the one word he didn't seem to hear. 

He wasn't understanding it. 

It was a foreign word to him. 

The zero spark from the kiss was now beginning 

to make sense. 

There was something about him that really 

disagreed with her.

She knew all too well because every time he leaned in

to kiss her, 

she felt a lump of gas come up in her chest. 

She burped. 

Utter Humiliation!

Complete embarrassment!

But also a warning sign to her from her Venus. 

She wasn't in Kansas anymore...

She had fallen down the rabbit hole once again!

At the mall bus stop,

she tried once more to send him back to whence

 he came, but he was stuck to her like sticky tape.

She was able to escape him for one second

when she went to ask a bus driver a question,

and then was approached by a female who 

seemed quite disturbed. 

The woman angrily asked her, 

"Is he your boyfriend"?

She quickly retaliated, "Hell No! Why?"

"Because he just tried to hit on me and I have a boyfriend."

said the woman in disgust.

She took the moment to apologize to the woman 

but to also explain that this creep already had 

another woman and was trying to hit up on 

her too. 

Once again, the No Spark question became 

loud and clear!

When the bus arrived, she told him "go home",

and then turned and got on her bus. 

As she sat down, a few passengers were giving her a 

look of concern. 

She read their eyes, 

"Need Help?"

Even though she knew she did, she just smiled at them

and said Hi. 

They took that as a No and respected her. 

Then all of a sudden, he was on the bus, 

heading over to her.

He took a seat right next to her and she immediately

told him, "you're not coming with me". 

Like a broken record. 

She heard herself over and over... 

No No Not Not Go Home Go Home.

Stupid record. 

How did she even manage to pick it up? 

There must have been a shadow attractor in her. 

But which one? 

To Be continued... 

One Last Hit....

After the full moon in Taurus, 

Very much had come up for her in all aspects of

her world. 

From;

 Dreams,

to realities

to illusions 

and 

to shadows,

She was swimming in what felt like the deepest darkest 

murkiest waters of the abyss. 

It was time to stop. 

She was ready to stop swimming against the rip current

and call in Holy Spirit for guidance. 

What was she to do?

Nothings was as it seemed. 

She'd been wearing rose colored glasses since day one. 

But now, since Venus was retrograde in Scorpio 

and Mercury joined alongside with her... 

Nothing was pink and sparkly anymore.

Everything was proving to be the worst of the worst.

Her back hurt, 

her stomach wasn't healing one bit.

In fact she was beginning to run low on energy in every

which way.

Was her Plutonic Ex right all along?

Was she going to die of an incurable disease?

Was she ready?

She sure felt like it. 

She was Tired.

She was Numb.

She was in utter Despair.

There was nothing else she could do. 

And 

even if there was, 

she had no energy or motivation, let alone will, 

to even continue. 

There was no amount of beer that she could drink anymore

to forget and erase how she was feeling. 

The shadows have won. 

She couldn't go on anymore. 

So she wasn't going to.

She was just going to stop. 

 

Smoldering Out....

 It was a late Friday afternoon, when she decided to 

hop aboard the bus and head into trouble. 

When she got to the mall, 

there he was...

Once again, she didn't recognize him until he

removed his hoodie. 

Her eyes widened, and her heart began to beat a little 

bit faster. 

She walked up to him with a huge smile on her face

and gave him a fist bump, then stepped closer 

and gave him the biggest hug. 

He was wearing shades and when she stepped back 

to reassess what was going down, 

she realized he was high as a kite. 

Something he took made him slower then ever... 

She could see it from the way his mouth was getting

white.. 

Cotton Mouth they called it. 

She felt her heart crash splatter on the floor in a pool 

of disgust. 

Ugh... 

Mr. Mini Beers was heading right back to whence

he came. 

The disappointment didn't take over her though until

he kept interrupting their conversation

with every woman that walked by. 

He kept checking out each woman as if he was starved

for muff. 

Unbelievable!

Then, one of his friends showed up and he completely

 ignored her and began chatting with his friend. 

That was her cue. 

Disrespect me once, shame on you. 

Disrespect me twice, shame on me... 

There was not going to be a third time,

 she was going to make sure of that. 

On the next bus to her old hangout, 

she happened upon a stink bug. 

Armor in place?

Ready to blow some stink on the next predator?

But the stink bug actually came to remind her 

not to bottle up her hurt and disappointment. 

So she began talking to Holy Spirit about what had just 

occurred. 

Holy Spirit was sympathetic, but also brought up 

something she had almost completely overlooked. 

Mr. Mini Beers was trauma bound by rejection. 

Not feeling worthy enough. 

And with her always telling him,

 "no not yet", 

This was his way of getting back the power which he 

believes to have lost with her. 

But that was actually not the case. 

But a trauma bonded person would of course see 

it as such. 

So Holy Spirit told her, 

"Don't write him off just yet,

he will be back. 

Only,

make sure you recognize

 that this is his game." 

He is trying to break your spirit in order to be above you

and then become your rescue. 

But that's not a true flow. 

She would have to make sure to not put herself into 

the masculine energy role, which is exactly what he 

needed in order to 'one up' on her. 

The Game was on. 

But in order for her to win this one, 

she would have to stay in her feminine energy. 

Which of course was her own trauma issue...

Could it be done and won?

To be continued...  

Strike Out!

 Three more days to go...

Could she make it? 

Make it where?

The Libra New Moon, that's where.

Her energy had been leaking out somewhere, 

because her gas tank was at half empty.

She wanted to look at it from a different 

perspective and say it was half full, 

but no.. 

No chance in Hell 

could that be possible 

in the underworld. 

Cuz she was in Hell. 

As she tried to finish up another bracelet order,

she realized that maybe... 

Just maybe.. 

It was the bracelet orders she had agreed to,

that were draining her energy, 

because from where she was 

standing, or actually sitting, 

as she was doing what she had thought she enjoyed, 

now all of a sudden wasn't refueling her tank.

But why not?

She pondered over the situation in every minuet detail 

but could only come to one thing... 

She didn't like doing things for others' pleasure.

Only her own.

And the only pleasure she got out of bracelet making was 

putting together her own colors and seeing 

the finished design. 

But when someone requested a certain style 

with their chosen colors, 

all of a sudden she felt as though she was working 

for free. 

Even though there was the promise of a payment

once it was done, 

it was never really a guarantee,

 and she knew that it was always up in the air. 

Perhaps this is why right now, 

three days prior to the Libra New Moon, 

she felt the energy leakage 100 times heavier!

Saturn and Neptune were pounding away in her head

like two men working on the railroad. 

Just hammering away at the left side of her head.

Venus was also running through a trench in her body

trying to remind her of her true creation ability

and worth.

So why was she so stubborn?

Why didn't she want to listen to her body?

Could it be that she wanted to stay addicted. 

Addicted to love...

Cupid stupid love.

Not the real deal though.

And just what was cupid stupid love anyways?

It was her relationship to the shadows,

 that's what!

They had made life so fun and full of drama

that she felt BORED without them. 

But Bored was a shadow too... 

Perhaps he was the real Morpheus in her life. 

Always giving her only two options...

Red or Blue?

Right or Wrong?

This or That?

Heaven or Hell?

But never ever really giving her a chance to 

Fill In the Blank with her truth!

Could it be?

That she was Neo in a La La Land

that she kept creating with her shadows?

Was she Alice In Wonderland running with the 

ticking rabbit?

"We're all Mad Here..."

MAD was also a shadow!

But Mad was the key shadow that could push her 

out of popping pills with BORED

 but never would because MAD only

came to her when she felt provoked.

 

However,

 Rather then listen to her Venus,

 who screamed louder than a banshee, 

she ran with her Golden Apple 

to always prove herself.

So here she was sitting at the library, making a 

bracelet for the second time... 

And she couldn't even bring herself to finish it

because her energy just wasn't in it. 

All she could think of was the refill of an

ice cold beer. 

Her Escape!

Because that's exactly what she got after selling it.

Just enough for one beer. 

Definitely not a flow. 

She saw herself doing it again,

 her old pattern. 

Thinking that doing something would bring in flow.

But it never did.

It was time to give it up. 

All of it. 

A new seed Needed to be planted. 

And she would do it during this 

New Moon In Libra, 

because otherwise, 

she was at the end of her life line.