Smoldering Out....

 It was a late Friday afternoon, when she decided to 

hop aboard the bus and head into trouble. 

When she got to the mall, 

there he was...

Once again, she didn't recognize him until he

removed his hoodie. 

Her eyes widened, and her heart began to beat a little 

bit faster. 

She walked up to him with a huge smile on her face

and gave him a fist bump, then stepped closer 

and gave him the biggest hug. 

He was wearing shades and when she stepped back 

to reassess what was going down, 

she realized he was high as a kite. 

Something he took made him slower then ever... 

She could see it from the way his mouth was getting

white.. 

Cotton Mouth they called it. 

She felt her heart crash splatter on the floor in a pool 

of disgust. 

Ugh... 

Mr. Mini Beers was heading right back to whence

he came. 

The disappointment didn't take over her though until

he kept interrupting their conversation

with every woman that walked by. 

He kept checking out each woman as if he was starved

for muff. 

Unbelievable!

Then, one of his friends showed up and he completely

 ignored her and began chatting with his friend. 

That was her cue. 

Disrespect me once, shame on you. 

Disrespect me twice, shame on me... 

There was not going to be a third time,

 she was going to make sure of that. 

On the next bus to her old hangout, 

she happened upon a stink bug. 

Armor in place?

Ready to blow some stink on the next predator?

But the stink bug actually came to remind her 

not to bottle up her hurt and disappointment. 

So she began talking to Holy Spirit about what had just 

occurred. 

Holy Spirit was sympathetic, but also brought up 

something she had almost completely overlooked. 

Mr. Mini Beers was trauma bound by rejection. 

Not feeling worthy enough. 

And with her always telling him,

 "no not yet", 

This was his way of getting back the power which he 

believes to have lost with her. 

But that was actually not the case. 

But a trauma bonded person would of course see 

it as such. 

So Holy Spirit told her, 

"Don't write him off just yet,

he will be back. 

Only,

make sure you recognize

 that this is his game." 

He is trying to break your spirit in order to be above you

and then become your rescue. 

But that's not a true flow. 

She would have to make sure to not put herself into 

the masculine energy role, which is exactly what he 

needed in order to 'one up' on her. 

The Game was on. 

But in order for her to win this one, 

she would have to stay in her feminine energy. 

Which of course was her own trauma issue...

Could it be done and won?

To be continued...  

Strike Out!

 Three more days to go...

Could she make it? 

Make it where?

The Libra New Moon, that's where.

Her energy had been leaking out somewhere, 

because her gas tank was at half empty.

She wanted to look at it from a different 

perspective and say it was half full, 

but no.. 

No chance in Hell 

could that be possible 

in the underworld. 

Cuz she was in Hell. 

As she tried to finish up another bracelet order,

she realized that maybe... 

Just maybe.. 

It was the bracelet orders she had agreed to,

that were draining her energy, 

because from where she was 

standing, or actually sitting, 

as she was doing what she had thought she enjoyed, 

now all of a sudden wasn't refueling her tank.

But why not?

She pondered over the situation in every minuet detail 

but could only come to one thing... 

She didn't like doing things for others' pleasure.

Only her own.

And the only pleasure she got out of bracelet making was 

putting together her own colors and seeing 

the finished design. 

But when someone requested a certain style 

with their chosen colors, 

all of a sudden she felt as though she was working 

for free. 

Even though there was the promise of a payment

once it was done, 

it was never really a guarantee,

 and she knew that it was always up in the air. 

Perhaps this is why right now, 

three days prior to the Libra New Moon, 

she felt the energy leakage 100 times heavier!

Saturn and Neptune were pounding away in her head

like two men working on the railroad. 

Just hammering away at the left side of her head.

Venus was also running through a trench in her body

trying to remind her of her true creation ability

and worth.

So why was she so stubborn?

Why didn't she want to listen to her body?

Could it be that she wanted to stay addicted. 

Addicted to love...

Cupid stupid love.

Not the real deal though.

And just what was cupid stupid love anyways?

It was her relationship to the shadows,

 that's what!

They had made life so fun and full of drama

that she felt BORED without them. 

But Bored was a shadow too... 

Perhaps he was the real Morpheus in her life. 

Always giving her only two options...

Red or Blue?

Right or Wrong?

This or That?

Heaven or Hell?

But never ever really giving her a chance to 

Fill In the Blank with her truth!

Could it be?

That she was Neo in a La La Land

that she kept creating with her shadows?

Was she Alice In Wonderland running with the 

ticking rabbit?

"We're all Mad Here..."

MAD was also a shadow!

But Mad was the key shadow that could push her 

out of popping pills with BORED

 but never would because MAD only

came to her when she felt provoked.

 

However,

 Rather then listen to her Venus,

 who screamed louder than a banshee, 

she ran with her Golden Apple 

to always prove herself.

So here she was sitting at the library, making a 

bracelet for the second time... 

And she couldn't even bring herself to finish it

because her energy just wasn't in it. 

All she could think of was the refill of an

ice cold beer. 

Her Escape!

Because that's exactly what she got after selling it.

Just enough for one beer. 

Definitely not a flow. 

She saw herself doing it again,

 her old pattern. 

Thinking that doing something would bring in flow.

But it never did.

It was time to give it up. 

All of it. 

A new seed Needed to be planted. 

And she would do it during this 

New Moon In Libra, 

because otherwise, 

she was at the end of her life line. 

  

Heating it Up!

It was only a few days after the Full Moon in Aries, 

when she realized her life had changed

almost over night. 

Was it a good change?

She wasn't quite sure yet, because as of so far,

nothing was really working the same way 

anymore.

However, something old had come back around. 

and she wanted to blame Venus in Scorpio for it. 

It was a 'sort of'' ex. 

'Sort of' because they never actually went out. 

They just hung out for short bursts of time here and there. 

So more like dating... If even that. 

The last time they were ever together was 

back during the Pisces Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in

September of 2025.

Then he disappeared on her. 

They had been texting back and forth one day,

then all of a sudden, 

no text back. 

She wondered, 

"Did he just Ghost me!?"

 

but then she found out that he had actually

 been arrested.

Fast forward to September 2026. 

She ran into Mr. Mini Beers at the mall bus station

and he was completely transformed!

She could hardly recognize him!

If it wasn't for his tattoos, which she clearly 

remembered, she would be a little worried at this 

hot guy coming to her!

When he saw her, 

he came up to her with such joy in his eyes. 

yet he was a bit shaken. 

Just like that day when she told him what she wanted

straight up and ran her fingers through his curly hair. 

"Think about me."

were her last words to him 

that she whispered in his ear.

Now, here he was...

fresh out of a year's vacation in jail and fate brings 

her back to him.

She kept saying, "wow! you look good! Really Good!"

Jail really did that body good she secretly 

thought to herself. 

But then she had to go. 

Her bus was coming. 

He asked about getting food but she wasn't even clicking. 

She just told him it was downstairs,

yet she never put two and two together.

His way of asking her out was different then what she 

 had learned was the 

"right way". 

And so she 'blew him off' without even knowing it. 

But when she was on the bus, she felt it. 

The disappointment.

But little did she know,

disappointment was the shadow

that kept her blind to reality. 

Why was she expecting flow to be a certain way?

There was only one way to flow. 

What she had learned to be flow, was actually 

a controlled fearful tactic 

that made her believe she was safe, 

but never actually got her anywhere. 

She stayed stuck. 

It was the way she moved....

And that's what kept her

 Isolated. 

Alone.

Single.

Her fear was being

 Unwanted.

Unlikable.

Worthless.

Yet this Disappointment shadow was hard at work

making her believe that she was to control 

how things showed up,

Rather then going from inside out.

The next time she ran into Mr. Mini Beers

was once again at the mall bus station. 

This time she followed her inner feelings when 

she saw him and gave him a huge hug!

He hugged her back. 

They lingered. 

Then she got on the bus and sat down. 

He came on the bus after her and asked her where she 

was going?

She didn't want to give away her exact location

so she told him only the city name. 

He asked, "May I come with you?" 

Her mind spun out!

All she could think of was her small tent

shake, rattle, and rolling with the two 

of them in there together. 

So she kindly declined. 

He wasn't phased. but he took her rejection 

the same way he did last time, with respect. 

As he was about to walk away, 

she said real quick,

 "Wait!"

He turned back around and she took off her 

friendship bracelet which she had just made. 

And she put it on his hand. 

He smiled at her and said thanks.

Then he got off the bus. 

Just as the driver came back and started the bus, 

Mr. Mini Beers grabbed his bag and hopped back on the bus. 

He came over to her and sat down.

They hugged again. 

He asked her if she made the bracelet. 

And she told him that she did. 

He took it to heart. 

Or so she hoped. 

During the bus ride though, 

again, Mr. Mini Beers began groping her exactly 

like he did their first date. 

She kept fighting off his advances but this time, 

she was actually enjoying his touch. 

So she calmed him down and told him,

"No, now is not the time or place." 

However, she made sure to speak with temptation 

and added a little seduction magic of her own.

 As she spoke her words, 

she rubbed her hands all along his chest, up to his neck, 

where she noticed

he was wearing his rosary necklace. 

He was very Catholic. 

Had a tattoo on his neck of prayer hands. 

Yet... 

She wondered... 

Why would a Catholic School Boy 

be interested in an Intuitive Spiritual? 

To Be Continued... 

Hopefully...