Zap Attack

As Uranus made his way back into Gemini

for the remainder of his journey forward, 

she too was going forward into 

not uncharted territories, 

but rather a new way of living through the old 

charted ones. 

She realized that she had gotten to the bottom of the Abyss 

now and there was no way else left to go. 

So as she began swirling upward toward a new world,

she realized that her Gemini mind liked to have a 

security net. 

However, this security net 

didn't consist of love... 

Because love was connected to her feelings and her 

body's communications with her through Holy Spirit. 

 Yet, she realized that there was still a disconnect 

in play, because her security net was built on old

perceptions that her Mercury mind meshed together.

However, 

a lot of her perceptions were actually other people's experiences

and not really connected to her own internal truths. 

 And so, With Uranus in Gemini, 

all the disconnects of the faulty perceptions

 were now getting zapped. 

One by one,

 they each were coming up 

in her external interactions as she tried to move forward

 in her goals. 

One of her biggest goals was reconnecting with her 

true authentic self as well as maintain truth 

with all those whom she came across in life. 

She found that she was actually really rusty at relating. 

She would snap so quickly at external issues, 

yet, she never actually brought them in to 

work them out first. 

She was still quick draw McGraw.

She still didn't know the first thing about communicating. 

It seemed that every time she did try though, 

it was always the external person who didn't 

seem to understand what she was saying. 

Was she speaking a foreign language? 

Was her way of communicating so far off that 

no one could ever get her? 

What language was she even speaking then? 

Or perhaps!

The way she was wording what she really meant, 

was not understandable by the external person 

who was putting it together. 

This happened with her new boyfriend a lot!

When they were together, 

everything just flowed. 

Even when they would misread each others ques, 

they were able to physically solve it almost 

instantly. 

However, 

when it came to verbal communications, 

everything was a ticking time bomb 

just waiting to go off. 

Every word translated was tripping up the mine field. 

A Boom here!

A Boom there!

Good grief!

So Uranus in Gemini was going to do what,

 she thought? 

Dismantle each buried bomb? 

Or

Detonate them all quicker then ever?

She did begin to realize though, now that she had 

a more loving, calm, and emotionally mature guy,

that her Mercury mindsets security netting, 

was actually preventing her Body Mercury from 

joining forces with her and healing the false beliefs that she 

had grown up to use. 

So this was going to be a really interesting time for her. 

Learning what it meant to really relate. 

Not only with herself, but with others as well. 

Se7en Year Itch

 Even after she had left his deep dark abyss of a room

and forgot to leave a note, 

he still text her and wanted to keep messing with her.

 

It was only then, 

that she realized she was dealing with a narcissist.

Her energy was his supply. 

Her running on fears was his fuel. 

The enjoyment he was getting out of her anxiety

was his food. 

But the fact that it took her several days

 to finally put it in the ground

and bury it, 

simply told her that she still needed to pull up 

something deeply rooted within her. 

She knew it was tied to an insecurity of some sort 

because this bread crumby, 

love bombing, 

little dude

could only do one thing, 

and that was to assume she was cheating, 

or wanting to cheat, 

or going to cheat,

and so he had to call her out on it and then 

abandon her while she tried to explain and prove something

she never did.

Yet no matter what she would say, 

didn't matter, 

because he would never believe it anyways. 

And then it hit her!

Her father! 

When she was little, 

she had a Latino friend by the name of Johnny. 

Johnny tried to steal a toy. 

She told him no. 

 Johnny then told her to just keep an eye out. 

Meanwhile, 

her father and uncle drove by and saw them, 

and needless to say, 

accused her of trying to steal the toy with Johnny. 

And that's when he hit her straight across the face 

with his brick hands... 

Then as she cried, 

He left the room. 

Abandoning her and her emotions. 

By the time he had come back into the room, 

it was too late.

She had already sat down at the round table

with King Arthur and the rest of the knights. 

 Every word that came out of his mouth after that was 

the newly created oath she decided to sign up for. 

And with this oath, 

she keeps attracting the same type of men

over 

and

over

and over again. 

She knew it was time to go back and pull up 

all the weeds that grew around her truth. 

She was never guilty of stealing or cheating. 

But she was guilty of cheating herself out of her own truth. 

And with that came the stealing of her own heart. 

Which of course is why all the men keep calling her 

a Cold Heart B!tch!

Cuz she swore to it a long long time ago!

EvEn

The Guilt within pushed her to go to him.

She owed him for ditching him 

the day he had set up a date with her. 

So she told him she would meet him for a truce "hello". 

When she got there, 

he showed up for her drunk. 

The breath,

 that from my mystic,

reeked!

He gave her a look, like a dog did a bone. 

She played it off as his drunkenness kicking in, 

But clearly, she knew the truth. 

He was waiting... 

Waiting for the opportune moment to pounce. 

He was a tiger. 

She knew that much. 

And her astrology knowledge always came in handy 

when she decided to finally go out and date again. 

He took her to a 7-11 and allowed her to feed herself. 

"Pick anything you want my dear", he said. 

However, 

everything she wanted had a glitch. 

The slurpie machine had the cup and juice 

but no matching lid. 

The toquitos were rolling, 

but there was no sauce. 

So she took what was there and complained none. 

After they rang up and the change came into her hand, 

he took her to the beer cave in the back and picked out 

her favorite beer. 

Once they paid for it, 

he took her back to his lair. 

He showed her to his room, which when she 

stepped into in, she saw nothing but darkness and a mattress. 

On this mattress was a blanket with a lion. 

Was he about to devour her alive? 

But lo and behold, he sat her down and said, 

"Here, drink theses and stay here until I finish working."

He told her that he worked 5 to 11:30pm and that he would be 

back to chat with her some more. 

However, 

once he had left, and she began to eat her taquito 

and drink her beer... 

She saw something in the corner of the room.

 

Rope. 

Her mind began to spin!

ROPE?!

What and why does he have rope but nothing else? 

Just a bed. 

No sheets. 

Just a blanket. 

And he didn't even have a charger for his phone. 

He had asked to borrow hers. 

Who was this guy?

As much as she questioned that thought, 

she really did not want to stick around to find out. 

She finished her food and beer, 

and clocked in the next bus on her Transit app. 

And boom!

Just like that. 

She was gone. 

Again. 

As Most Days goes

April 1st, 2026... 

Was the day of the Libra Full Moon 

as it was also the day

the doors to the School of Life closed for 

Spring and Summer Vacation. 

She only panicked for about a day or two, 

but then things began to unravel for her rather quickly. 

It all began when she slipped and allowed for 

the Guatemalan boy to re-enter her life. 

It happened ever so quickly, that it seemed as though there was 

some sort of game afoot... 

 With the Libra Full Moon energy in play, 

she knew exactly what she was playing with too. 

Her glitch in relating. 

She knew that if she had blocked him already, 

not even just once, but several times actually within 

the course of their dating escapades, 

then there must have been a rewired truth within 

that was operating subconsciously 

completely against her. 

And so it came to revelation once and for all

the demon within her... 

Operating ever so slyly behind the scenes. 

She knew her picker was broken,

 but she never thought 

she would replace her disappointments and indifference

to her feelings

with the very demon that lived off her 

fear of relating. 

Fear of being unheard. 

Fear of being abandoned. 

Fear of being Insignificant, weak, and Powerless.

So when he showed back up in her life, 

just like clockwork,

she was back to her head over heels

"in Lust"

again.

Which ran for about three days after they had left 

the school of life. 

He had left and went to a town 4 cities over

and immediately landed a job and a room for rent. 

Whereas she had left and went to a town she adored. 

Everything was as she loved from inside out. 

Over the course of three days, 

he would text her about all his success and fortunes.

Meanwhile she would mention to him all 

her struggles and desires for help. 

He ignored every plea of hers 

and only centered on himself. 

Waiting and wanting her applause 

and validations which she gave but felt as though

the balance was completely off. 

He wasn't hearing a word she said. 

And when she needed him, 

He was nowhere to be found. 

Then, 

if all that wasn't enough stress for her, 

he would check in with her demanding to 

know who she was with and where she was sleeping. 

Yet, when she told him her truth, 

his only reply always was, 

"I Don't Believe You."

So the day had come when he had his day off, 

and he wrote to her, 

"I want to see you."

Asmodeus sent his raunchy vibes through her veins. 

She got excited. 

She remembered the bitter sweet kisses... 

And she couldn't wait to jump on the chance at 

another revenge session 

to prove she was still something wanted. 

But then she stopped herself. 

She took her spirit, and reconnected it to holy spirit.

Holy Spirit told her that in order to 

win against Asmodeus, 

all she had to do was 

Listen to her true hearts values, joys, wishes and desires,

and act on them.

And that if this boy wasn't matching her true vibe, 

then he wasn't worth her time or energy. 

And so she finally listened. 

She was able to cut the cord 

once and for all 

from all of the false beliefs

that kept her spinning webs of self deceit

for a very very long time. 

 

Bread Crumby Attitude

She asked him, 

"Are you a part of a gang?"

To which he pointed to three dots on his left hand. 

A three-dot tattoo on the hand, often arranged in a triangle, most commonly symbolizes "Mi Vida Loca" or "my crazy life," representing a lifestyle on the edge, gang affiliation, or time spent in prison. It can also signify resilience, the past-present-future, or a spiritual trinity, and is sometimes called a "party dot". 

When he had said the words to her ,

 "I'm from Guatamala", 

The word Gang was flashing before her eyes. 

And those 

Three Dots clarified it right up for her. 

How did she always manage to attract the toughest of the bunch?

And then she thought... 

What bunch? 

The third world I only know how to use my fists to 

solve anything bunch?

But then, she did attract them, so she really couldn't say 

she was any better. 

She didn't even want to. 

She never liked to compare herself or anyone else for that 

matter. 

But so back to this gang member. 

What was interesting about him though, was how he came off 

so shy, and so silent. 

So kind, and so generous. 

But then, he also didn't lead. 

Instead, he pulled her right out of her feminine essence 

and left her to make all the decisions. 

All the choices. 

All the plans. 

How was this a gang member? 

Oh... 

Duh.. 

Gangs were followers. 

Not Leaders. 

No wonder he kept doing the trinity walk with her... 

Only with him it wasn't the light side. 

It was the shadow side. 

The light side as she knew it was;

The Father, 

The Son,

and

Holy Spirit. 

However, the shadow side of the so called trinity,

which she was receiving 

from him was more so;

The Father,

Son,

and 

The Black Moon Lilith's Ghost. 

The way she knew was because he had text her,

"I miss you, 

Where are you?

Who are you with?"

As she read over his words, 

something in her stomach twisted. 

The Trinity was all love,

and for him, to say I miss you then immediately string along

Where are you? and Who are you with?

Definitely did not suggestion love, but more so 

 suspicion and assumption. 

She knew there was a shadow lurking behind those words. 

And she wasn't going to even try to 

correct him or change him. 

She had finally learned that people needed to

come as they are

as they were... 

Not as she wanted them to be. 

And so she accepted that this guy was definitely

still way behind on his security lessons. 

And so she blocked him immediately. 

The last thing she needed was a bunch of gang members

putting her in the ground all because 

her "would be boyfriend", wrongly accused

 her because of his insecurities.