Purr-Reflection

Like a Kitty Cat that caught fire,

so was the up coming Leo Full Moon energies

boiling underneath every humans skin!

She was feeling her own energies boiling over already

and there was still two more days to go. 

Her Ego was being tested in the physical world. 

Every situation she was stepping into 

kept meeting up with her Eris energy. 

Eris the goddess of discord

 was so close to the surface for her

 that she couldn't not join forces with her.

Every day was a massive battle. 

Between her and her. 

She just wanted to run and hide. 

It was her go to mechanism.

Not to mention the drown it out technique. 

That was one of her favorites. 

Escape it all with alcohol, music, and movies!

How fun to stay in La La Land. 

But then when everything crumbled in the real 

world, she couldn't enjoy La La Land anymore.

It would turn into Hell.

Or something close to it. 

Ugh... 

What was she to do?

Holy Spirit had been telling her to just face the fear. 

The fear of finally allowing herself to be happy

 in her feminine energy.

However, such an easy task

proved quite challenging for her to even grasp,

 because it would require 

her masculine energies' 

Cooperation. 

Compliance.

Co Creation.

However, 

there was Eris... 

She stood there along with 

Black Moon Lilith

 and

 Hekate...

And the three of them taunted her Masculine energy. 

Making her always want to be right.

Want to prove her strength.

Prove her Power...

But this is where the feminine would whisper to her, 

and it was so hard to hear it too,

because she would be so far out trying to battle

the external spirit energies. 

But Holy Spirit wouldn't stop until 

the message was heard... 

The feminine message that went as such;

"You can't have power by giving it away...

Come back in... 

Come be with me. 

Stop fighting.

Do not engage.

And 

Just Trust in me". 

Could she do it though?

Would she do it?

Definitely not alone, 

she wouldn't. 

But with Holy Spirit by her side, 

She surely could. 

The time was now. 

Ready or Not! 

. 

I See You

She was trapped inside a house with a thousand and one

external spirits... 

The snow storm outside blanketing them all inside

as if they all needed to rest... 

Just calm the f**k down and chill. 

Be at peace for once. 

But could they?

Could any of them really do that?

If she herself was taught to fight for the very 

thing called life, 

then surely all of these external spirits were taught the 

very same thing, were they not?

She had to contemplate that for a second before 

refocusing back on only herself. 

As she sat quietly at the table typing away at her blog, 

she realized that if indeed refocusing on herself was 

a selfish act, 

know otherwise as Narcissism... 

or worse,

Being Self centered.

Yet,

 focusing on doing deeds in order for others

to see and accept her was known as 

the key to success, 

then what exactly was happening under the blanket 

of snow that was trapping her and a thousand other 

spirits in one house?

Why were the people going stir crazy?

Why were arguments breaking out left and right?

Shouldn't they all be one big happy family?

Why were there walls up all over the place?

Why were people going off like bombs at each other? 

Why couldn't people sit still?

As if sitting was creating a lack of opportunities to 

seize recognition and proof of their worth!

As if enjoying their time together 

was some sort of wrong doing. 

How dare they!

Something was off. 

And she knew it.

 To be continued.... 

It All Ends Here

 A fresh new start was just on the Horizon...

But where was she?

For her, 

Capricorn stood vertically

 and if she wasn't aligned,

 then everything horizontal didn't work either.

But what exactly needed to be aligned?

She was beginning to realize that the more she 

was listening to external spirits,

the further she drifted away from anything 

actually working for her. 

The more she wanted to do what was right, 

the more wrong things began to pop up. 

Something was off. 

Way off. 

The Capricorn New Moon was going to be at 28 degrees.

The same 28 degrees that in her chart was connected to 

Lilith in Pisces 

and

Diana in Scorpio.

And of course, 

the main player in the whole game

was her Mars in Cancer 

believing that little lilith (o) in 

cancer but 5th house was the right way to go. 

This teeny tiny energy glitch was stirring up 

so much turmoil in her life these days, 

that she really needed some major help 

from Holy Spirit in order to straighten it out. 

But how exactly was it all going to rework itself?

That was the million dollar question for her. 

Today already, she had broken down into tears twice. 

And yesterday all day was just a waterfall and tsunami

type of day as well.

Most people would call it depression. 

Or Bipolar. 

But she knew very well that it was all the stuff she was 

cramming down and they wanted out.

So she let it. 

However, something needed fixing.

Something needed building.

Something had to be done.

Because in order for her to stop shoving feelings 

down and getting all clogged up... 

She needed to have a system in play. 

But how?

How was she to even know what was needed when 

she grew up using what she already had in place..

The depression suppression mechanism. 

She was hoping the New Moon in Capricorn would

 some how,

some way,

reveal to her a new technique. 

One that would allow her to finally flow. 

Cuz she was beyond stuck now. 

She was at the end of her rope. 

New and Re-Invent it

 It was January 2026 and every time she saw 

an astrological post, 

it kept repeating the same thing. 

To go back over the course of events that occurred 

back in January of 2022.

So she finally gave in and went back in time. 

(click the link below to go back to my blog that started it all)

https://isthisforreaoristhisjustaride.blogspot.com/2022/01/a-nightmare-fairy-tale.html

After reading over the main event of that year, 

She finally saw it! 

The shadow lurking between the real her versus who 

she had transformed into because of this fake entity claiming

to be her heart. 

She realized now, 

that if she was back in that old scenario, 

rather than staying outside her body

after being shocked and startled,

 Then joining forces with the dark knight, 

she would have come back into her body 

and rejoined forces with Holy Spirit. 

And from there she would process her surprised emotions

and all the confusions along with them... 

And then she would have communicated her truths to 

the scared little boy before her 

so that he could have made his own choices as well. 

However, because she did no such thing back then, 

Sh*t went down as it always did. 

And to this very day, 

that dark knight still comes around and tries to test her.

And each time, she gets triggered and fights back.

Rather then just speak her truth, 

she always hisses and then runs away. 

So this year... 

2026...

Will be her year to finally stop hissing. 

Stop running...

And stop trying to control everything from happening. 

Life never worked that way.

It was a fearful driving force that kept leading her into 

dead ends and destructions. 

What she really needed to practice and learn more of this year

was how to speak her truth in a feminine way. 

Connected to her true heart. 

She had finally learned that her Aries Ascendant was governed 

by Mars... 

Yet, her heart was tied to her Mars in Cancer and Venus in Pisces.

The two of them couldn't move anything forward

because her Mars in Aries was running always with an 

external spirit and latching on to external people 

for validation and acceptance. 

But this is where she had an entity squished in between...

Latching to that light she would shine that was never 

really hers. 

This is why her Plutonic Ex would call her 

A Fake. 

A Cheater.

and

A Liar. 

Because she wasn't true to herself, 

yet couldn't see it for the life of her....

Until Now.

However, 

Will she be able to do it? 

 To be real this time? 

Con-temp-late

 As she sat there on her cot in

The school of life once again, 

She began to wondered... 

Why was she so afraid to move on. 

To allow a new experience to occur? 

Why was she so scared to let life just happen? 

Was it because that's how she had gotten syphilis in the past?

She wondered... 

Why was it that when she knew she didn't want a person, 

That if she got with them, 

For the fun of it, 

That's it would cause a disease? 

Or would it? 

Cuz as she thought more and more

 about this, 

She realized that when she was with her

Plutonic ex, and she really did want him, 

She couldn't for the life of her produce

Anything healthy.

No baby. 

No relationship. 

No health.

Instead she ended up with the exact

Opposite. 

A huge overgrowth of disappointment. 

So then, 

What was she really holding so tightly to? 

There were so many options coming at her 

And to each one she would say no of course. 

Meanwhile, she was also saying no to 

Her joys. 

Kissing. 

Connecting.

Sharing. 

But why? 

If she was going to be dying soon anyways, 

Since life was not promised. 

Why not allow herself to enjoy it? 

Why not go for it?

Ugh...

Because of the after shock, 

That's why. 

She knew that was the one thing

That's could never be escaped. 

Sure there was the night of lust and passions

Shared ..

Exchanged...

Exhausted. 

But then there was also the aftermath...

The lingering questions!?!

The lingering doubts!?!

The lingering hook of what happens next!?!

It was always the worst part. 

The part that couldn't be forgotten. 

Ignored. 

Avoided. 

It was the very part

That's would always destroy her. 

And so tonight, 

As she sat on her cot, 

Contemplating whether or not to move forward with her offers...

She chose....

Her choice

Of choices...

To be continued...