Stir Cray Sea

 As she took a sip of her beer,

 he came out of nowhere,

walking towards them. 

He shook hands with Aries and then came towards her.

She just stared at him.. 

Was he going to shake her hand too? 

But no, he fist bumped her. 

"Dude..."

Echoed through her mind...

She got up and gave him the seat next to Aries 

while she went back over to her bench next to Kike.

Kike was another diabolical friend of hers. 

Just as Pedro and Luis were. 

He didn't speak her language, let alone her beliefs.

But she wasn't there to connect with him.

She was there to get what she could from him.

And this is where she realized, 

'He'

 came in.

His name was Alex. 

Supposedly. 

He had a woman. 

'Wifey' she called it,

 but really they were anything but that.

Wifey had Alex chasing her around like a top about to 

fly off the table. 

However, she knew that Alex wasn't a saint either. 

Especially how he kept showing up to their circle.

Last night was no different. 

Alex appeared all drunk and high. 

Just basically all out of sorts. 

And he began asking Aries a lot of personal questions

which seemed to have struck a nerve or two in Aries

because he was exploding like fireworks saying things like; 

"Stop asking so many questions!"

"That's none of your business!"

However, no matter how angry Aries got, 

Alex was unfazed. 

He had this look on his face like he was in a totally different 

world,

 throwing shots at Aries in order to make 

him self destruct. 

She began laughing at the sight before her and even told 

Kike how she saw the spirits battling. 

It seemed to be amusing her a great deal.

Until Alex involved her. 

He began asking her questions, to which she happily 

replied. 

However, this triggered Aries as well. 

He began shouting at Alex again,

"stop asking her questions!"

"Stop being nosy!"

"Why is one woman not enough for you!?"

"I'm not letting you have another!"

And that phrase was a bit shocking to her. 

When did she become a part of this in that way? 

She knew he had a woman,

 and was keeping her distance.

so...

When did the two of them have a chance to make it 

more than it was?

And that's when it hit her. 

Jupiter was revealing in broad daylight

every little detail she was doing. 

Diabolical. 

Evil.

Out of sorts.

Scheming to get stuff from these guys was not the right way.

She was going from outside... in.

She kept leaving her wifey, Venus and Mars, behind...

in order to get stuff from these guys. 

So basically she was cheating herself the same way 

Alex was trying to do with her on his own woman.

That was definitely a hard sight to swallow. 

Her earthy self was just thirsty for some sort of connection,

but little did she know, 

it was the internal connection that really needed to be seen

and felt and

Not these magical external concoctions she kept turning to!

How ever will she stop these subconscious patterns though? 

That will be her next reveal to come... 

Stay tuned! 

Come back sport

Only one more day and Venus in Virgo was 

going to be in an exact square to Uranus in Gemini. 

 If opposites didn't attract now, then

these two planets would surely make it happen.

Venus in Virgo was touching base with the

 feminine energies. 

All the needs, wants, and desires, were being stirred. 

Was the masculine Mercury paying attention?

Was he listening? 

Or was he holding the hand of a shadow 

and running wildly amuck dragging the poor 

feminine energies with them? 

This is where big Daddy Uranus came in and was ready

to snap a twig or two,

perhaps cause a bit of chaos here and there. 

However, 

you can bet your tiny little hinny that

it will all be in the name of love. 

She, of course,

 was lucky enough to run into her tiny little 

chaos

only a few minutes ago. 

It all began 

when she wanted to go to the store to get some food. 

She really didn't know what she wanted to eat, 

she just knew she had to eat cuz it was lunch time. 

As she got in the store, she looked at each isle...

She waited for her tummy to pick something. 

As she walked down the tuna isle, 

her eyes glanced at the prices...

To her surprise, all the prices had gone up, like way up!

One can of tuna was $3.29!!!

WTF! She thought..

F* that!

She moved on down the isle and came upon some chili in a can.

2 for $5 the sign read. 

So she grabbed one and then asked herself, 

"what could I put in this to make it better?"

And that's where she saw the microwavable Mac-n-Cheese.

$1.49 for one... Yikes, but 'whatever', she thought.  

At the register, 

that there, 

was when it happened... 

The first sign of trouble. 

The chili rang up for $3.99.

She called over the cashier and explained the sign, 

to which the cashier told her to go take a picture for proof. 

She proudly went back and snapped a picture, 

and upon returning, the cashier said, "okay, I'll give it 

to you for that price." 

However,

 the cashier rang her up for two cans. 

So now her price was $5.00 instead of $3.99,

which really should have been only $2.50. 

The cashier said, "oh, you have to buy 2 to get the price." 

Which actually was not the case at all because she had been 

shopping at the store for a while now and always 

just bought one and it always worked.

The reason this chili wasn't ringing up right though 

was because the sign was actually outdated.

So that made it the store's fault for false advertising. 

However, she digressed. 

"Never mind," she said in great disappointment. 

"I'll go get something else."

But her body didn't want something else. 

It had picked the chili mac, gosh darn it!

But of course her masculine Mercury mind wasn't 

listening. 

Instead as she walked away, 

her mind decided to run the old system of

 a downward spiral...

All of a sudden she heard herself say, 

"Great! Now I've lost my appetite altogether."

And so she went to the cheapest thing she knew, 

yogurt.

And bought herself only that. 

While sitting outside on the bench,

 she took the first bite, 

and she could have swore it tasted like gravel. 

Then with her second bite, tears came running down 

her cheeks. 

There she sat, outside the grocery store

crying into her yogurt.

People walked by and just wondered...

What did her yogurt do to make her cry. 

She was totally guilty though. 

She ripped off her body once again. 

She tricked herself into believing that she didn't need 

a battle just to eat. 

But little did she realize, she was still battling herself.

She may not be battling them, 

but she was still fighting against her feminine wishes 

and desires. 

And that is why she sat here at the computer, hungry

and malnourished, 

all because she wanted to be the fairest. 

 

Hell Bent

 With Neptune and Mercury gone Retrograde

 and then Venus entering Virgo,

she could pretty much do nothing else but 

revisit her old relationships and sort out 

every minuet detail that made her trip up. 

Or down, 

depending on which way she was going...  

So she took into consideration, all of them. 

All of her boy toys and sugar daddies... 

First there was Luis... 

Luis was an old past life energetic that she couldn't quite 

pin, until the final days of yore... 

She knew something was dreaded off about him, 

But she could never quite get herself to completely

stop it. 

She would use him for his money. 

However, she was exchanging tons of her energy for a 

3 dollar beer. 

Every night she regretted staying longer than she should. 

He always promised her an Uber, but the entire

night they were hanging out, she was constantly battling his 

inappropriate gropes and grabs. 

By nights end, she was ready to collapse. 

And in the mornings, she felt so sick and tired, 

as if she had been battling a life long sickness

and barely lived to wake up. 

This guy turned out to be an old energy of 

Hades. 

And she was Persephone. 

Not choosing herself. 

But rather letting them choose for her, all because she 

believed she was dependent. 

The way she had met her next boy toy was almost like 

a runaway train... 

She was trying to unhinge herself from the 

old wrecking train known as Hades, 

and she ended up hitching up with a boy toy

 from the homeless shelter, of all places. 

Talk about a Lilith moment revisit!

Pedro was more fun though, from her view point. 

He was young and vibrant and cute, not like Luis, 

who was bald, old, and bow legged. 

Yes, judgmental was her thing... 

Quite rightly so, since she was in fact a Pisces...

However, Pedro was an utter mess!

He was arrested for three months, joined a prison gang,

 came into America by jumping 

the wall, 

was a compulsive liar, and turned out to be 

very very insecure.. 

Which come to think of it, so was Luis. 

Both guys would use the same tactic to try 

to stir emotions in her.

Her Aquarius Moon was ice though... 

That Hell hath frozen over a long long time ago,

Like a fairytale. 

 

They would both threaten to leave her. 

Abandon her..

Go.

Gone.

Poof! 

Luis would say, 

"I'm going to New York by the end of the month." 

And she would say to him, 

"Oh how great for you! Good Luck!"

Come the end of the month and he never went. 

She was pissed!

But only showed indifference. 

Same with Pedro. 

He would constantly threaten her with pictures of 

other women and say he was going to get with them. 

And when she said to him, 

"Okay, I hope it's all that you wish for."

He would then come back and call her the next day 

as if he never said it. 

She was Disgusted,

But showed only apathy. 

What was wrong with these men? 

But then it hit her! 

The iron Pan from 

Venus in Virgo!

"Girl! What is wrong with you!?" Said Venus.

"Don't you know that indifference ain't going to get you 

anywhere new?

Two jerks already gave you the chance...

Take it!"

Venus wasn't having any more of this back and forth crap.

She scratched her head... 

Ouch...

But Venus was on to something...

Why didn't she cut off these jerks as soon as they tried to come back?

Why did she let them back after a lie?

A deceptive lie? 

Oooohhhh!

And there it was... 

She was using them... 

This wasn't a real thing... 

She was playing men still to this day all because 

she was afraid to be in a relationship. 

She was afraid to open up to connection. 

So she kept using her fears to attract guys whom from the 

get go she knew she didn't even like. 

She just wanted to use them for whatever she could 

get from them. 

Take take take... 

But only give her body... 

Why?

Cuz she had no soul. 

She sold it a long time ago. 

It was time for her to give it up...

This demon 

And lay her head to rest.

Rest in Peace.

Was it really going to be that simple though? 

She was 48 years old and this all had been going back 

and forth since she was 4 years old... 

Don't leave me!

RUN!

Chase!

Beg!

Plead!

But now Venus in Virgo wasn't going to let her 

continue.

It was time for her to stop. 

To Be Continued...