Burning up or down?

The Leo New Moon Solar Eclipse was creeping in ever so slowly,

yet she could hear the roar of the lion ever so loudly

as if it had already came and conquered. 

Was she ready though?

Was she ready to face her Lyin'?

Would she lose her head over it?

Or would she choose confidence and bold release?

Release of all that which was never her to begin with.

 She felt the first growl early this morning when she 

finished making her bracelet. 

As she was packing up her bag to go do the next thing

she realized she had zero energy. 

Grrrowl  came from the Lyin Lion... 

Was she using her creativity to do things she didn't even 

enjoy?

Was she doing her bracelets to only get money?

Cuz her fuel tank was empty...

Then as she went to go do her shadow readings, 

she found great joy in speaking from inside out. 

But the minute she finished and it was time to post 

it, there came a hesitation. 

The Repelled Shadow! 

Growing up she knew she loved to let her energy flow. 

Until one day, when she was shining her light and love  and 

it had met an external darkness.

The shadow of

Rejection!

This is where she had decided that in order to not be 

excluded, she would need to strategize 

outside in. 

But this went against her true love and light and so 

to this day, she keeps finding all kinds of creative endeavors,

but none that which is actually her real truth. 

Those she always felt hesitant and horrified to show... 

 Now, with Leo the Lion getting eclipsed by his lioness...

There was no more Lyin.

It was time to come clean in everything. 

It was also a time to pick just one. 

She had a million hobbies. 

She admitted that much to herself. 

She could also pretty much do anything she put her mind to. 

However, there really was only one thing she truly 

enjoyed wholeheartedly... 

But that very thing, was the only thing people 

persecuted her for. 

Spaced Out

It was A New Month.

Still Summer.

Still Hot as Balls trapped in tighty whiteys.

But she was not the same. 

Something in her had caught fire and left nothing 

behind. 

Not one single shred of hope. 

Not an ounce of will power.

Not even a tiny bit of oomph! 

There was just no inspiration left for her to go on. 

Even her Shadow readings were getting old.

She wasn't bored though. 

So this wasn't a shadow glitch. 

She was just Empty. 

And she figured that was a good sign. 

Because if the feeling of empty came from the bottom 

of the depressed barrel, 

then she knew it wasn't going to be too much longer that

something was going to change. 

555

It read on the clock. 

That was her sign seconded.

She really wanted to live. 

She just didn't know how any more. 

Holy Spirit kept saying on repeat, 

"Inside out"...

"Follow your joy".

"Do what you value". 

And she honestly believed she was doing it all. 

But then why was she feeling so empty?

What was missing? 

She had hit a wall. 

A Brick Wall.

Waterfall...

The Leo New Moon Solar Eclipse was on it's way...

Would it help her?

Or would it End her? 

This was the million Dollar Question

she really wasn't too eager to answer. 

But she sure hoped something good would 

come of it.. 

However, that's where she realized she was still waiting

 for an external spirit to show up for her. 

To fulfill her. 

Athena! 

The strategy she was harboring. 

Thinking all the answers were already out there. 

Maybe this time, she needed to create her own answer?

What exactly did she want though?

A house?

A Car?

A flow?

But how? 

"Go out and look!" they would say to her. 

"Apply!"

But to what?

To what could she apply herself to?

She was deaf.

She couldn't lift more than 10 pounds. 

She was an artist. 

A starved artist. 

Her work went unnoticed. 

No one wanted to buy any of her stuff. 

Except the bad boys of Sterling. 

They wanted her 'stuff '.

So they bought her stuff. 

How pathetic. 

Something was off. 

But why couldn't she see it? 

It was time to call in her Mars and Venus... 

Perhaps they could show her again?

 

Wishful Sinking

As she sat between the two friends,

Aries and Kike...

She kept hearing them say the word 

"Wish!?!?"

As if it was some magic potion being ignited between

them all because she was there. 

And that's when it hit her!

Aries and Scorpio!

Kike was a Scorpio...

With Her being Pisces, 

The wish!?

Her Fear versus her Power... 

Pluto (Power)?

Or 

Hades (Fear)?

It all depended on her decision to relate. 

Aries to Libra

AC-DC

Not the Band,

But the Ascendant, who she was 

in relation to the Descendant, who she showed others.

Was she going to continue to follow her fear

and keep believing that her wishes were unattainable

without the agreement of an external feminine?

The same way 

in which 

Aries and Kike kept showing her in the reflection!

Wish!? Wish!?

 Was she finally going to chose herself and believe 

in her very own powers?

Her true Venus and Mars values, wishes and desires!?

The coin had been flipped in the air. 

And very soon it was going to land. 

Was she going to call it? 

Or was she going to catch it and use it for herself?

Either way, she would fail. 

Her only real choice was to not leave anything up to chance. 

But also not let anyone fool her into believing they 

were the only ones who had the coin to toss, 

that was going to provide the permission for her to get 

her wish granted

 or

 not.

Because the real truth resided inside her. 

Her wishes were inside her. 

And in order to get them granted, 

all she had to do was take the step and move it out with 

Holy Spirit. 

Mercury Retrograde in Cancer had finally 

been able to reach her long lost connection!

And today, Mercury was stationing direct at exactly 

the degree point of her Sun in Pisces!

It was now high time to reconnect to her truest essence. 

Her Venus Wishes! 

 

Stir Cray Sea

 As she took a sip of her beer,

 he came out of nowhere,

walking towards them. 

He shook hands with Aries and then came towards her.

She just stared at him.. 

Was he going to shake her hand too? 

But no, he fist bumped her. 

"Dude..."

Echoed through her mind...

She got up and gave him the seat next to Aries 

while she went back over to her bench next to Kike.

Kike was another diabolical friend of hers. 

Just as Pedro and Luis were. 

He didn't speak her language, let alone her beliefs.

But she wasn't there to connect with him.

She was there to get what she could from him.

And this is where she realized, 

'He'

 came in.

His name was Alex. 

Supposedly. 

He had a woman. 

'Wifey' she called it,

 but really they were anything but that.

Wifey had Alex chasing her around like a top about to 

fly off the table. 

However, she knew that Alex wasn't a saint either. 

Especially how he kept showing up to their circle.

Last night was no different. 

Alex appeared all drunk and high. 

Just basically all out of sorts. 

And he began asking Aries a lot of personal questions

which seemed to have struck a nerve or two in Aries

because he was exploding like fireworks saying things like; 

"Stop asking so many questions!"

"That's none of your business!"

However, no matter how angry Aries got, 

Alex was unfazed. 

He had this look on his face like he was in a totally different 

world,

 throwing shots at Aries in order to make 

him self destruct. 

She began laughing at the sight before her and even told 

Kike how she saw the spirits battling. 

It seemed to be amusing her a great deal.

Until Alex involved her. 

He began asking her questions, to which she happily 

replied. 

However, this triggered Aries as well. 

He began shouting at Alex again,

"stop asking her questions!"

"Stop being nosy!"

"Why is one woman not enough for you!?"

"I'm not letting you have another!"

And that phrase was a bit shocking to her. 

When did she become a part of this in that way? 

She knew he had a woman,

 and was keeping her distance.

so...

When did the two of them have a chance to make it 

more than it was?

And that's when it hit her. 

Jupiter was revealing in broad daylight

every little detail she was doing. 

Diabolical. 

Evil.

Out of sorts.

Scheming to get stuff from these guys was not the right way.

She was going from outside... in.

She kept leaving her wifey, Venus and Mars, behind...

in order to get stuff from these guys. 

So basically she was cheating herself the same way 

Alex was trying to do with her on his own woman.

That was definitely a hard sight to swallow. 

Her earthy self was just thirsty for some sort of connection,

but little did she know, 

it was the internal connection that really needed to be seen

and felt and

Not these magical external concoctions she kept turning to!

How ever will she stop these subconscious patterns though? 

That will be her next reveal to come... 

Stay tuned!