One More Time

Venus was about to go retrograde at exactly 

her Ascendant degree point. 

This was big!

HUGE!

However,

 before she could even begin to think

about what that actually meant, 

she had to figure out why she was circling.

Like a vulture 

waiting for a meal...

 Who's soul was she trying to steal?

Didn't she have her own?

When did she turn into a Vulture anyways?

It was time to stop this game. 

As she sat back and re-examined her life,

especially her relationships... 

She wondered when did she become so 

indifferent?

When did she lose her voice?

To speak what she really felt?

Where did her words become entangled webs?

Could it be, 

that she had entered into a world where she 

didn't know their language?

Is that why her Plutonic Twin had told her 

to stop learning a new language?

She was getting herself too deep,

too far away from her own truth?

Because her truth was neither her parents language

nor other people's language.

Her language was love. 

And Love didn't speak. 

It just was. 

It was Joy.

It was Peace.

It was Harmony.

It didn't need a language.

Only feelings. 

But because she was indifferent, 

she couldn't feel how far she was getting away from it.

That's why when her plutonic Twin would go all out

and dramatically try to provoke feelings in her,

she couldn't feel it. 

Until... 

He finally disappeared. 

For good. 

And even though it wasn't his rude treatment

that she began to miss... 

but quite the opposite.

It was her own lack of boundaries that she saw

become very prevalent, 

in the regret of his absence.  

So there it was... 

The resentment that needed acknowledging. 

Not creating boundaries 

when they were with her. 

Just like with her father. 

She knew she couldn't stand up for herself,

and it wasn't because she loved him more than herself, 

but more so

 a fear of being hurt if she did. 

Wow! What a twisted world that was.

All of it. 

She wasn't going to lie to herself though. 

She loved both her father, and her Plutonic Twin.

But she learned in this lifetime that to love herself

was the most important. 

She forgave them both for not knowing 

better. 

And most importantly,

she forgave herself for the exact same thing.