Admit one

 Her biggest fear 

was His Response. 

However, when she went back in time

to a place when she was standing in front of Daddy, 

and it was her time to speak her truth...

He had betrayed her. 

His hand swung quick and hit hard.

For a child of 5 or 6 years old, 

it came as a shock, for sure.

Little did she know though

, that this shock 

was going to continue to vibrate 

for years to come. 

As she sat at her computer, blogging away on 

Valentine's Day of all days... 

She realized that there was a truth that she really 

wanted to say. 

But to whom?

Her Daddy was Dead.

The very man that she always wanted to prove herself to

was gone. 

So then who was she hiding things from?

For fear that she would get hit again?

There really was no one. 

It was just her and herself. 

And of course Holy Spirit. 

Did she fear Holy Spirit? 

It was a possibility. 

But why? 

Could it be?

That she gave the Golden Key to her happiness 

over to an external spirit? 

Indeed she did. 

She finally was able to realize that she had replaced 

Holy Spirit with Daddy. 

So now, 

as she stood before Holy Spirit, 

it was time for her to speak her truth. 

Fear or not, 

it was time for her to let it all out. 

She missed her Plutonic Twin. 

All of it. 

When they had begun, 

yes,

 they were like two peas in a pod. 

Sure they were opposite energies.. 

But they had the attraction. 

The one that she knew was a forever after.

But so then what ever happened to them?

To their forever after? 

Did they not deserve one?

 To that she almost immediately knew that yes they did. 

Only for them it was a test of not time, 

but more so of a trust. 

A belief. 

A knowing. 

That what they truly felt inside was a lot stronger than 

what they always wanted and transformed themselves for 

externally. 

This Valentine's Day

she wanted to feel that love again. 

The one between the two of them. 

The one when they were in the car at a red light 

listening to music and couldn't not kiss. 

The one where they would drive off to a random city together

and just explore it together from inside out. 

She missed the times when she allowed him to lead 

and just trusted the outcome to be as great as they were together.

But then she realized something.. 

Both of them had fears. 

And each time the fears would come, they both would 

turn to external spirits... 

Mom, dad, sister, past experiences....

And each time they did, 

these external spirits would put more doubts into them 

to drive them against each other.

So yes, 

this was the inevitable... 

But was it really the end? 

Was this really all there was? 

An end? 

Or was there an 

Ever After? 

Because that is what she really desired in this lifetime. 

A Happily Ever After.