Testing the Water...

 It was one day after the Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio and boy was she 

feeling it. 

She was in the midst of a huge generational change

 and it 

definitely wasn't the easiest thing she every had to do. 

She felt like she was going against the tides of life... 

But eventually when she allowed the waves to come crashing 

down,

 she realized that she was still standing. 

And she wondered at this vision... 

Was she maybe standing in the middle of an ocean? 

One of her biggest fears was indeed being out of control. 

Not being able to make things work the way she wanted. 

She had grown up believing that she was supposed to be 

in charge of her own destiny. 

That everything in her life was supposed to work out for her

exactly as she wanted as long as she did her part. 

But so then what in the world was she doing standing in 

the middle of the ocean?

Just because she was a Pisces, didn't mean that she was a fish 

in real life. 

She didn't even like the ocean. 

It was full of things that were alive and too icky for her.

She liked furry animals.. Fury cute animals. 

Not nasty slimy scaly reptiles or amphibians. 

And so today was her first ever realization that maybe... she had 

a false belief stuck in her own Flow of life... 

 When she went back in her mind and allowed herself to go down

deep into her heart center... 

She knew very well that she believed in God. 

The higher power that kept things going and that promised her life

and love in all that she did. 

But then, how did she end up in the middle of an ocean 

trying to avoid all the scary waves?

And that's where she saw the light bulb come on!

God never threw her in the water. 

She had walked out into the ocean willingly when everyone else 

who already knew how to swim and loved the beach and ocean

was already going anyways.

 She had become their follower!.

She wanted to be like them. 

She wanted them to accept her as one of them. 

But she wasn't one of them. 

She didn't even like water, let alone the beach and heat. 

And so she had become a liar to herself. 

To who God had made her. 

And all her life, she kept trying to control herself with lies

that she chose to believe from those who she put above herself and God.

But Why?

Could it be because they appeared to be more 'in the know' ? 

Or was it from the false perception she chose to fool herself with

 since the beginning of her time. 

That God was Out there in her gains, the approvals, and applause of everyone

and everything but herself.. 

That security came from what she could achieve and provide for herself

 even through the deceptions of her own truths. 

But why would she deceive herself?

Why did she believe that God would reward her for such a wrong doing?

And there it was! 

The truth! 

She had been taught through a false spirit claiming to be God's truth.

Her Shadow self. 

Her Shadow self was only trying to protect her heart, yet, 

with no connection to God's truth, was actually poisoning her! 

It was drowning her in lies and self destructive behaviors promising 

her Joy and Happiness to come in the end... 

But how could it, in the midst of this death she was already living... 

And so, when the next wave was about to come... 

She knew exactly what to do...