Light Shadows

It was the day after the 

Powerful Aries Solar Eclipse New Moon

and already all kinds of excitement had exploded

around her as well as in her. 

To begin with, 

she had a revelation stream in 

after a very interesting night prior. 

This school of life 

was definitely teaching her a lot

about who she was and who she had allowed herself

to believe she was.

The one thing she finally allowed 

herself to see... 

was the shadow she had been running with.

This shadow made her believe that her light

was here to help people. 

Meanwhile, she herself was being drained with 

each act of kindness. 

But also, her power and energy 

was only being refilled when she would

use her powers for deception.

Luring people in with a false sense of care

just to prove her high and mightiness. 

But this was not her.

This very belief went against her very foundation,

 the true love 

that which she was and came here to be. 

However, part of her had a fear

that she needed to prove herself in order to 

be loved. 

And so with  that twisted mindset,

she was weaving a really tangled web.

However, the patterns were finally coming to an end.

She had hit her point of no return. 

She saw herself in the middle 

of all her fears. 

Like a compass.

She was being guided by the Adult self,

who seemed to have believed in the 

illusions of her Dark Side of the moon

and it's shadows!

It was time though, 

to make a choice. 

Learn something new and

go up. 

or

 Grab a shovel 

and continue to dig her own grave?

Neptune in Aries was going to help her. 

She knew that much. 

But she had to take the first step

after taking the veil off, 

which was to 

open her eyes 

and see her world from a new light. 

Her Own.

Unveiled Choices

It was Finally Friday, and as she was trying

to sneak out of the old school playground, 

he saw her. 

She pretended to be surprised, but really she 

had seen him earlier, and was trying to plan 

a quiet escape. 

Op-lah!

 He immediately rushed over to her and gave her

his usual Good Morning Hug. 

She complied. 

Even though inside her, she could hear her heart

saying,

 "no no no!

Stop fooling the boy and just be honest".

He asked her what she was going to do, to which she 

quickly replied, 

"Trabajo! Looking for work!"

But as she said it, she saw a vision in her 

third eye of her being looked at as work. 

Was she connecting to his thoughts? 

It was definitely a probability. 

She remembered Holy Spirit tell her since day one

of meeting him, 

"Do not engage with them, especially him!"

And here she was, complying to his hugs, 

and all set up for a date later that evening. 

What was she thinking! 

She wasn't. 

That's what. 

As she tried to say good-bye and walk away,

he mentioned he would go with her. 

She couldn't escape. 

As she began walking out the door, 

she ran into the guy who was like her, 

happy when he was listening to music and dancing,

but angry when they had him take out the trash.

Could he be her reflection?

As she walked passed him, the Spanish guy 

continued to follow her, 

until another guy came up to him with drugs. 

The two of them walked off and she found her 

chance to escape. 

As she stood at the bus stop, she called in 

protection and saw a bunch of crows fly over head. 

They cawed at her though and so she knew. 

As the bus arrived, so did the Spanish guy and 

sure enough he took a seat next to her on the bus. 

He took out his weed pouch and began distributing

the drug to those who on the bus 

went up to him. 

She just stared at them all doing the illegal 

right there 

in plain sight. 

The Spanish guy looked at her and asked if she 

was still ok for the beer later in the evening. 

She said, "No, I don't do that."

And suddenly 

the smile from his face disappeared. 

He was silent the entire bus ride and when her 

stop came up, he didn't say a word. 

As she got off the bus, 

she knew... 

It was time. 

Time to make a choice around who she was

and who she was not. 

With the Aries Solar Eclipse only a day away,

she was definitely feeling the pressure and intensity

to make a move... 

Did she feel at home here? 

Did this place share her values?

If not, 

then what was the fear that kept her 

Paralyzed? 

 

Subservient No More

 It was Day 13 since the arrival of her stay

in the school of life. 

13 was her favorite number. 

Her lucky number, if you will. 

And today was the day, 

the guy who asked her on a date 

the night before, 

just so happened to be at the same bus stop

as her. 

As soon as he saw her, he got a huge smile on his face.

He walked up to her and gave her a friendly

hug good morning. 

She was a bit shocked, 

and a little shaken, 

but she allowed herself to feel again.

It had been four years since her last heart break

and she had been shut down and out of business

ever since. 

But as of last night, 

she had finally decided to open the doors again.

She was going to allow love in once again.

She knew she would put love out all the time,

but she was never one to let down her guard

by letting love in.

However, this time, 

she was going to try it. 

To be Open.

To be vulnerable, 

to take risks,

to trust and be trusted. 

Only, this time, she also had wisdom

at hand. 

She knew now how to take things slow.

How to vet those whom she was giving a chance to. 

It wasn't going to be a co-dependence

situation again.

This time, she knew what she was, and what she 

desired. 

And this time, she also knew to let go 

rather than try to change a person, or herself

 to make it work.

She was no longer afraid to be honest. 

But most importantly, 

she was also no longer going to 

not take people's words seriously. 

Because once they say it, 

they mean it. 

And she knew it from both perspectives.. 

The healthy as well as the unhealed. 

She had finally grown though.

Evolved.

Transformed!

And now came time for the 

Next Chapter!

See you over there!

Class Dismissed

She never really saw how isolated she 

had allowed herself to become, 

until she was forced into a situation where she 

was surrounded by a bunch of people. 

She felt as though she was back in school

all over again. 

There was lunch tables, and cliques everywhere 

she went. 

There was the

 gangs or 'punks' as she liked to label them.

There was

 the burnouts or druggies,

 

the gossipers and religious types, 

the give peace a chance peeps, 

and of course

the loud and obnoxious group. 

Then on the flipside,

 there was the solitudes

and skepticals..

The overly protective types.

However,

She wasn't any of these, but she could be 

with the right mask. 

She had been them all

 in this lifetime of hers. 

But to this day, 

none of these masks felt like home 

to her. 

She couldn't stay long enough in any of them.

She always felt as though she was forcing herself 

into a mold that didn't resonate with the truth of 

who she really was. 

She thought about something... 

If she was in this school..

and she was learning a lot about all these 

different types. 

How did she fit in?

She didn't.

She was the chameleon. 

The Karma Chameleon!

Maybe.

Just maybe, 

In this lifetime,

 it was time for her to graduate from this illusion.

The illusion that she needed to be 

someone she was not. 

All because she believed that being who she was 

had no place on this earth.

Talk about a limited mindset!

But so with this revelation, what would she do?

Would she continue to stay in this school

out of fear of being left out in the cold all alone?

Or

would she follow her true needs and desires?

But what were those?

She came back into her body and asked herself

what was it that she loved to do

every single day. 

Out of all the times she had lost 

all her 'stuff', 

What was the one thing she always turned to

in order to elevate herself back to 

the vibration of her self love?

Her Journal, 

her coffee,

her music,

her art,

her blogs,

her astrology chart reading videos. 

Her hiking and out door adventures,

her amazement in nature and photography of it.

She realized that no matter what would go down 

in her life, 

these things would stay consistent. 

But then she wondered, 

If this is where she had consistency, 

where could she plug into in order to share it?

Was that where she had a false belief though?

Did she really need to plug in somewhere in order 

to share her joys from living?

Or

Was there a totally different existence 

that she wasn't allowing in 

all because she had believed so much in 

that false illusion as the 

"only way"?!?

Thus, she was still 

trying to fit everything into that specific mold.

Perhaps, It was time for a change.

A once in a lifetime change.

Would she be brave enough to do it? 

To be continued...

  

Born Against you

 Once again, 

what started out good and promising,

began to crumble before her. 

Only this time, 

she was willing to accept it for what it was.

Another lie. 

Another deceitful lure 

from her mindset.

Could this be her self sabotage mechanism?

Trying to fool her again to repeat 

the same old tried and true 

false belief pattern?

She was onto it this time though.

And to willingly go along with it was not 

her only option. 

She had finally learned something 

from all the previous times that this same 

situation would happen upon her. 

There was no more running back and forth. 

There was going to be no more giving in

to external demands to throw away 

who she truly was. 

Turning her back on 

Her own gifts.

Her own passions.

Her own desires. 

Giving up on herself 

was no longer a bet she was willing to make.

It was time to rise out of this hole she had fallen into.

It was time to wake up from the deep sleep she had 

lulled away into.

As she looked around her and was ever so 

grateful for all the service workers who were

giving their best efforts at serving 

because it was their passion,

she had realized today, 

that the only reason she could 

never fit in with them, 

even though she could do the job, 

was because she was going in with

 A Lie.

A false sense of self.

A mask. 

And with that, 

she kept repeating in this life 

where everything and everywhere 

she would go, 

it reflected exactly as she was playing it. 

Maybe with the Sun going into Aries today, 

she would do the right thing

for once 

and just be herself.