Create the Future Now!

 10 years ago, he had left this world. 

Nevertheless, 

10 years later, she was still unraveling his mess. 

His mess which entangled with her newly created beliefs. 

Which she continued to recreate 

time and time again,

hoping for a new start.

However, 

what she never saw underneath it all...

 was a false belief.

An illusion.

A projection turned delusion. 

All this time it was Ceres and Persephone

that continued to strike deals 

back and forth

inside her.

Half and half.

With guess who!?

Hades, The Devil, Satan, Lucifer!

Call it what you want, 

but in the end, 

Just call him, Dad. 

Father 

God. 

With all her knowing of energy and the planets,

the one thing she never thought to conceive

was the fact that the energy was playing out 

within the families she chose to be born into.

 

In this family it was Ceres and Persephone.

Mother Daughter dominion, power, control.

Yet, 

when it came to love, 

jealousy was the game. 

You can't have me if you want him. 

So you have to split. 

But meanwhile, 

because of the split, 

neither world was ever really good or joyful,

it was always 

an either or... 

Take your pick, 

Hot as Hell?

 or 

Cold as Hell?

Either way, 

it was always Hell. 

Neither felt right. 

Day needed night.

and

Hot needed cold.

The balance needed to be brought together.

and so she knew,

It was time to end this Half and Half game. 

The in between,

both sides, 

I'm just gonna stay stuck, BullSh*t!

It was a time now, 

10 years later,

 that she put herself back together

the right way. 

With Holy Spirit, she was going to rebirth 

life the way it always was before death took over.

But first she needed to remove the false belief

that nurturing herself was an external 

thing. 

Money didn't come from people. 

It was a created reflection of that which she enjoyed.

Her ability to be on this planet and feel.

Just feel and be;

 exist. 

That was the starter energy. 

Once she had mastered that, 

she would use her action energy, 

the masculine 'do energy' to do for herself all that 

the be body was feeling. 

Hunger, needing to release, needing to stretch and 

breathe slowly... 

all those required her masculine energy to take steps. 

But before she could do anything, 

Holy spirit needed activating. 

Otherwise there was no attracting the very things 

her masculine energy needed in order to fulfill the feminine 

needs, values, and desires!

So one of the most important aspects 

that she really needed to learn, grasp and use 

in this life, 

was calling on Holy Spirit before every little 

step she chose to make. 

A New Beginning

 As she was sitting in her room at the school of Life..

She opened her phone and began doing what she always had done. 

She opened up Facebook and checked out her feed. 

She saw in her stories a video of a guy who she found to be very handsome yet he was already in a relationship. 

However, in her real life,, at the shelter..

She has realized that she had a guy very similar in looks to this Facebook celebrity. 

✌️😉

She wondered..

Did she create it? 

Or

Was it a reflection of what she desired. 

Only...

She realized that if indeed it was her desires, then they needed to be more detailed to her own values. 

Because this guy, was similar in looks yet lacked what she truly wished for in a guy. 

Masculinity. 

However, holy Spirit halted her... 

"Don't be too quick to dismiss", he advised. 

"This guy did come to your table that one day,

Remember?!?! 

Then,

 he also stood behind you in line during breakfast and you saw the napkin he unfolded with his drawings...

You just overlooked it because of judgement tied to fears" . He added

So today, 

She decided to give it a shot. 

To Be real. 

So when she saw him looking at her across the room, 

She decided to smile and wave a hello. 

He smiled back. 

Then, just before she was ready to leave for the night, she saw him drawing on a napkin again. 

She walked up to him and said, 

"I saw your art earlier today, I really like it!" 

He just smiled and looked at her as she walked out. 

Will there be a continuation? 

She sure hoped so. 

But the ball was in his court. 

... 

Admit one

 Her biggest fear 

was His Response. 

However, when she went back in time

to a place when she was standing in front of Daddy, 

and it was her time to speak her truth...

He had betrayed her. 

His hand swung quick and hit hard.

For a child of 5 or 6 years old, 

it came as a shock, for sure.

Little did she know though

, that this shock 

was going to continue to vibrate 

for years to come. 

As she sat at her computer, blogging away on 

Valentine's Day of all days... 

She realized that there was a truth that she really 

wanted to say. 

But to whom?

Her Daddy was Dead.

The very man that she always wanted to prove herself to

was gone. 

So then who was she hiding things from?

For fear that she would get hit again?

There really was no one. 

It was just her and herself. 

And of course Holy Spirit. 

Did she fear Holy Spirit? 

It was a possibility. 

But why? 

Could it be?

That she gave the Golden Key to her happiness 

over to an external spirit? 

Indeed she did. 

She finally was able to realize that she had replaced 

Holy Spirit with Daddy. 

So now, 

as she stood before Holy Spirit, 

it was time for her to speak her truth. 

Fear or not, 

it was time for her to let it all out. 

She missed her Plutonic Twin. 

All of it. 

When they had begun, 

yes,

 they were like two peas in a pod. 

Sure they were opposite energies.. 

But they had the attraction. 

The one that she knew was a forever after.

But so then what ever happened to them?

To their forever after? 

Did they not deserve one?

 To that she almost immediately knew that yes they did. 

Only for them it was a test of not time, 

but more so of a trust. 

A belief. 

A knowing. 

That what they truly felt inside was a lot stronger than 

what they always wanted and transformed themselves for 

externally. 

This Valentine's Day

she wanted to feel that love again. 

The one between the two of them. 

The one when they were in the car at a red light 

listening to music and couldn't not kiss. 

The one where they would drive off to a random city together

and just explore it together from inside out. 

She missed the times when she allowed him to lead 

and just trusted the outcome to be as great as they were together.

But then she realized something.. 

Both of them had fears. 

And each time the fears would come, they both would 

turn to external spirits... 

Mom, dad, sister, past experiences....

And each time they did, 

these external spirits would put more doubts into them 

to drive them against each other.

So yes, 

this was the inevitable... 

But was it really the end? 

Was this really all there was? 

An end? 

Or was there an 

Ever After? 

Because that is what she really desired in this lifetime. 

A Happily Ever After. 

A Lil' Frosting

Mother Nature had dropped a huge load

on her part of the world. 

It was during winter and of course she was excited 

to see some snow fall finally. 

However, the day of the snowstorm, 

not only did 

Neptune pile high almost 10 inches of snow,

but he had also reflected to her the truth 

of all that she had kept buried deep within.

This beautiful snow blanketing the town 

was actually 

one of deceit and illusion!

What appeared to be fresh fallen snow, 

was actually hard as a rock 

and freaking cold as ice!

There was no walking on it or sledding on it. 

No building a snowman

or throwing snowballs. 

It was a trick!

In the end,

 it was all just blocking life from moving forward,

just as her own internal emotions were

blocking her external life from moving on.

So, 

with Mercury moving into Pisces, she knew it was 

very much a time to begin looking at her beliefs and then 

comparing the notes to her walk in life. 

What was off?

What needed tossing?

And where were decisions needing to be made?

Where was she self-sacrificing to some sort of false belief?

With Virgo being the Virgin Maiden, 

somewhere along the line of growing up, 

her third eye had to of made some sort of 

unhinged contracts and pledged plenty of 

off the wall oaths. 

Mercury in Pisces was going to reveal it all to her, 

and she was so ready for it too. 

It was time to get unstuck from the stuck-ness

which she kept sticking her head into. 

Glee Itching

No matter how hard she tried, 

she couldn't get this one 'thing' to leave 

her alone. 

Was it an illusion delusion?

Was she imagining it?

Because it seemed that at every turn 

of her energetics hitting joy, 

this thing would just appear out of 

nowhere!

Boom!

Just like that, 

tapping her on her shoulders from behind.

Or walking in stage left 

and just staring at her until she acknowledged 

it's presence. 

Could it be real?

 

Or

was she creating it into reality with her glitch?

Her Neptunian Jupiter glitch... 

Since Neptune had made his way into Aries, 

it was her time to really choose wisely 

at what she really truly believed in. 

Which she immediately knew was

Herself.

Her energies. 

Her truth!

However, 

this illusional glitch kept showing up for her

every single time she was feeling joy 

and about to take off. 

She was ready to move her energy into her next 

endeavors and boom, there it came!

Like a witch on a broom....

To suck away all the energy she had built up. 

This glitch was definitely exhausting her every last effort.

Thus,

Finally, 

with Neptune moved into Aries, 

(which was her Rising Sign)

she was able to catch the energy creepin' about.

It was time for her to choose herself. 

To really move herself forward rather than 

allow her Mercury mind to believe in the lie

that she was taught growing up. 

That the only way to be successful was to 

throw her energy into an external thing 

in order to get a reward. 

However, that mentality belief and action, 

many times over, had proven to her that it never

actually panned out to be true. 

Especially not when it was time to come back into 

her body and feel at home. 

Which she was ready to finally achieve in the

 physical sense as well.

So now the only question remained,

 that kept her in skepticism,

 was;

What exactly was she to do now?