Toxic Embers

 "You're Toxic".

It was always those one liners that got her attention. 

They would follow her around and around 

until she finally decided to listen to them,

because they always had a message for her. 

She began to learn and understand that every time

something negative triggered her, it wasn't because it 

was what she was. 

However, the trigger it was attached to was what she 

wasn't acknowledging within her and that is why 

she kept attracting the low vibrational energy of it.

So, she asked God for an understanding of this message, 

that really wanted to be heard. 

"You're Toxic..."

and so God took her back... 

Earlier in the day, she had listened to two of her readings 

from her favorite tarot reader.. 

The first one she listened to was her Venus and Sun sign reading, 

and it was exactly as she wished and dreamed.. 

Nice and sweet, just as a fairytale fantasy should be. 

The second reading she listened to was her ascendant rising reading.

It had the complete opposite of that fairytale dream come true idea. 

It was all about winning and being independent. 

Being strong and cutting down all that was no longer good for her.

And after hearing both messages... 

She wondered... 

Which message was really for her... 

They both sounded right. 

They both had great points... 

But which was for her? 

And so she went about her day all the while battling fears and 

insecurities that kept trying to come up... 

She kept asking for guidance and help in making the right

decision... 

But in the end, she crashed and burned.. 

She had decided once again that she was going to protect her heart

by keeping it locked up in a cage... 

Telling it that it didn't know what was right for her. 

That she was just naïve and a child and needed protecting.

And so she destroyed once again the dreams and wishes of 

her heart. 

Not realizing that she was killing her own spirit.. 

She was once again.. her very own Narcissist. 

She was...

 Indeed...

 Very Toxic. 

As night time came, she fell into a deep sleep and awoke 

very disorientated several times... 

It felt as if her mind was being wiped out as she slept. 

Maybe her heart was getting stronger!

Maybe her heart was coming back with a vengeance!

But she knew deep down inside that wasn't true. 

Her heart was the sweetest, kindest, most loving and caring 

of all that she ever was. 

And her heart wasn't going to hurt her.. 

Vengeance could only be had for her heart when she was 

able to be together with her masculine side equally.

 

And so today, she admitted that she was indeed toxic. 

And she realized that both of the readings were for her. 

It was a reflection for her that she was both energies 

and that she needed to stop fighting against her own soul's truth.

And instead, bring the two together through interdependence, empathy,

and compassion...

So, she surrendered this time to her heart. 

She allowed her heart to lead the way. 

But what surprised her the most was that her heart didn't want to lead... 

Instead, her heart grabbed her hand and they walked into the sunset

Together... 

As one..