Mind Your Thoughts?

It was Christmas Eve and tears were rolling down

her cheeks like a hot spring that leaked.

Every year around Christmas time,  

the same things would come up and haunt her.

Things like putting up the tree that is hated to be 

put up. 

Yet gets put up only cause it has to

because society expects it.

Also, the memories that come to haunt her every 

Christmas.. 

Like the gathering that is dreaded because 

it's a pain to cook for everyone.. 

And the mother is so exhausted and tired.

And fed up and hurt and pained and lonely.

Then of course, there was the haunting memories 

of her mother and father together...

Always in disagreement, or if not total hate,

then there was some sort of hang-up always 

stepping in-between the joyous moments. 

She remembered all the feelings she had observed

and picked up growing up. 

As an empath child, she never knew she was 

absorbing all of these negative energies.. 

But now as an adult, she is finally realizing 

that every year, the feelings come up to be released. 

But every year she just accepts them as her own..

But they aren't hers. 

She made them hers. 

And she was trying to change her parents past 

by not allowing herself to let go of what was never hers. 

Instead she was trying to fix it. 

But that wasn't right either. 

But so then what was?

Later on in the day, she worked up the energy to 

go out to the store and just see if she 

could stir some desire in her to come to life.

As she walked by the Dollar tree, she heard her inner

child say, Oooh! Let's get a tree! 

She stopped walking and looked into the store. 

She saw all the people backed up at the registers. 

The feeling of annoyance came over her and she walked

over to the Safeway across the street. 

Once there, she felt bad that she wasn't allowing herself 

to get what she wanted all because 

of some bad memories that kept resurfacing.

So she walked back over to the Dollar tree and bought

her inner child a Christmas Tree.

And when she finally did, 

it brought such joy and happiness to her heart.

Once she got home and put it up, 

she came to realize that

it could have been a pine cone she found on the ground,

and brought home to paint like a tree. 

It wasn't the actual tree that made her inner child happy, 

it was the acceptance of hearing and taking action

on the desire. 

And that began the process of healing. 

Letting go of what was never her fault or responsibility,

and going back to what really was. 

Her Authentic self.