Running Proof

 She awoke from her dream that morning 

with tears running down her cheeks.

All she could remember was the feeling she felt 

of looking out the car window 

watching the woman try to speak to them

as they kept pulling out of the driveway.

The baby in the back seat tried to tell the man driving

to let the woman talk, 

But he just said something to her that made her 

get quiet and bow her head down. 

She began to rub the baby's arm in a way 

to say "it's gonna be okay". 

But somehow, watching them pull away from the woman

who was now standing in the rain trying 

to give them a phone that belonged to 

the little baby... 

Only made her feel a greater sorrow.

When she awoke with tears running down her cheeks,

she wondered... 

What was her dream trying to tell her?

What was stuck in her subconscious mind?

That

Men don't respect women and that's okay because 

daddy did it?

That

Women don't deserve to be heard, because 

men make up their own false accusations and 

believe their own made up lies

over the truth of the women they supposedly love.

That

 it was okay to leave women without communication

because they were weaker and would always be there

 because they were broken?

She knew now as a grown up, that all of 

those ideas were false belief's. 

Yet, if she knew they were not right, 

then why was she still allowing it all to 

repeat in her life?

 Why was she still trapped in 

attracting the same type of relationships

that she grew up watching play out before her?

Maybe because it was only her understanding of it

and not actually the truth?

Maybe she needed to forgive herself for creating 

such false scenario's and running with them as if she 

knew everything. 

Maybe this is where her true fears about relationships 

were born. 

In her false inventions of how love really worked. 

Maybe it was time to let it all go.

She really didn't know how to be in a relationship.

And just like the baby in her dream, 

She always would sit quietly with her head down.

She never spoke her truth. 

She never shared herself.

She never allowed herself to be vulnerable again.

Therefore.. 

She never was able to love.

She just loved the idea of a relationship

proving her biggest fear.

That love between two people was always

destructive. 

And this is how she kept herself on the run.

Even from her own true self and desires.