Confronting a Past

 With the Sun conjunct Pluto all day, 

All of her fears were coming up for review! 

As she sat there with tears in her eyes,

she went over the story in her head.

She had gotten triggered.

Her anger got stirred.

And she did what she always did. 

Explode.

Only this time she did it gently.

But still it was deceptive in taste.

She knew that much.

Being spiritual had it's downfalls too.

Not really being able to play the complete fool,

 only half.. 

Yet,

 that wasn't enough to convince the universe to let her slide.

It was time to face her truths. 

As she looked over the situation,

 she saw way too much,

 all at once.

It was time to sort it out to see it more clearly.

Her Plutonic twin was telling her that he had 

a friend's girlfriend do the art for his 

hopeful new company design. 

It was almost like a scorpion sting.

Quick and yet also Quite the shock.

Normally she would be strong enough to take such a bite.

However, this time, she was hit pretty hard. 

Why though?

She searched herself and found that she was 

harboring some major fears and certain unforgiven

resentments. 

She still couldn't let go of all that he had done to her. 

Abandoning her in critical times. 

Using her and not being grateful.

Never showing appreciation to her for all that she 

had done for him.

And so with all of these unforgiven actions still 

swirling around within her, 

once again she had erupted with a burning fire.

But she also knew it wasn't just the jealousy 

that sparked her hot magma to erupt... 

There was also a deep secret fear inside of her that always 

got stirred.

Fear of Commitment. 

Even though a commitment

 was the very thing that she wanted,

it was also the very thing she feared the most.

For her, 

feeling safe with a person was one

of the greatest and top most needed realities. 

However, with her plutonic twin, 

safety was the farthest thing from her vicinity.

He had left her hanging so many times,

that there was just no way that she could lie to herself

again.

Also with his third party situation, 

she knew very well that it would never get better. 

And only sooner then later would it all blow up 

once she got to where he wanted her to go.

All the times that he would prove to her that he 

never saw anything in her except a liar like himself...

made her realize there really was no love in him for her.

And so she ended it.

She knew it would be up to him to heal. 

But when he would get to that...

Was on him.

But she really wasn't up for going through 

Another year of the same repeat patterns

just because he wasn't ready.

So she picked up the phone and text Tric. 

It was a long time since she had even thought about 

talking to him. 

But this time was going to be different. 

Why?

Because this time she was texting him to apologize.

Not for herself, 

But for her Plutonic twin.

Her Plutonic twin had made a huge mockery out of her,

and he definitely painted a really false 

perception of her while they were together. 

He would text Tric pretending to be her. 

And so she felt she had to clear it all up. 

Tric responded almost instantly. 

She was shocked. 

After all the horrible things that went down

with the plutonic twin messing with him,

he was still pretty responsive. 

Needless to say, she was a bit surprised.

She wrote her apology on his behalf to Tric and then

left it at that.

However, Tric wasn't having it. 

He immediately called her. 

She decided to pick it up this time.

His voice was so happy and excited when he

heard her voice. 

And she felt like she had reached an old friend

from long long ago. 

She asked him if she could do a chart reading on him, 

because somehow she felt that they had 

also known each other from a past life. 

Because people didn't just come into her life

 and then never let her go

for no reason.

There was always a lesson.

A closure.

A healing. 

She couldn't help but wonder....

What was theirs?