If it makes you Happy?

The Aquarius New Moon was only two days away,

but the energies were pulling her down already.

That tall mountain she had climbed,

was never a mountain

It was a huge pile of snow that got plowed

to the side of the road to no where's ville.

It began melting alongside the heat of the Capricorn Moon

that Mercury was turning up to a boil

right before he dragged his sluggish mind

into Aquarius... 

She was doomed. 

Along with the snow, 

she was done.

 

She couldn't find the strength anymore 

to keep doing what she had done before. 

The Aquarius New moon was begging her to plant new seeds,

or else... 

But she couldn't find her seeds.

Unlike everyone else, who took good care and 

nurtured themselves, 

she was totally against herself. 

She didn't want to be, 

but it just seemed that no matter what she wanted

to do, 

somehow, 

someway,

it found a way to come crashing down.

Even though, she had just got herself out of 

her homeless situation, 

she was ready to cash out. 

Life was just way too hard. 

Working like a slave for just enough to 

pay the rent and nothing more 

than misery in a bottle, 

was definitely not motivating her to keep going.

The will to continue was drying up fast.

She preached healing the shadow,

but her shadow was killing her. 

How was she going to heal something that 

she only knew how to see in others?

She was getting so tired of all that she was attracting.

Married men who only wanted to use her

for sex. 

Young boys who only wanted to use her for sex

but not mature enough to be the man.

People who would come to her and ask her 

to open up about who she was 

only to not become her friend, 

let alone come back ever again.

People around her lied to her and then 

wanted nothing to do with her. 

They looked at her as if she was some 

horrible witch. 

Some even called her a witch to her face.

If there was a stake she could tie herself to, 

she would, because the world around her

was so cold that burning would be the only warmth 

she would ever experience on this planet.. 

 

With tears rolling down her cheeks, 

she stopped herself. 

Wiped her tears away and decided to 

just 

STOP. 

She put up her hands and surrendered to Holy Spirit.

She asked him to lead her to her next step,

no matter what it was. 

She was no longer going to try to do 

what she thought she was supposed to do.

It clearly wasn't working. 

Nothing was. 

In two days, 

if she was still alive, 

she would see if new seeds would be found

inside her somewhere. 

Stay tuned...