Just Be You

 It was Friday night 

and she was getting that itch... 

Should she scratch it? 

She was on her second beer and listening 

to her dance music.

Clearly her mojo was filling up with

tons of vibrant energy to 

share!

Should she go? 

That was the battle going on in her head. 

As she pondered the battles,

she found that one major fear she had 

was 

having to battle guys all night

rather than just dancing and enjoying herself... 

But then she wondered, 

why was she so afraid to open up 

to a guy who wanted to share a dance with her? 

What fear was standing in the way 

of her allowing men to try to connect with her?

She wondered if she was over her ex? 

He had abandoned her a year and a half ago...

She couldn't still be hung up on him?

Could she?

No... 

She knew right away it wasn't that. 

He treated her like crap. 

Or well.. 

Not so much that... 

But more that he was not a healed person.

He was damaged goods. 

Too caught up in childhood traumas. 

And that really interfered with any real connection

that they could have ever had. 

He was totally broken and still trying to 

prove himself to his family. 

So she of course had no place in his life. 

There was no room.

So then...

what was the real fear?

She knew she too was damaged, 

however, 

at least she was trying to heal from it. 

And so tonight was a night of testing.

Why was she so afraid to connect 

with another?

Could it be that she expected everyone to be the 

same as the one before? 

This was a trauma of perception. 

But because she saw it! 

She could conquer it. 

But How?

She thought for a second... 

Then it came to her.. 

She would have to face it head on. 

With Holy Spirit of course, 

but nonetheless, 

face it head on. 

And why? 

Because she knew that having a partner in life,

was something she enjoyed. 

And something she wanted. 

So she was going to go out there

and she was going to not be desperate, 

but also not be the shut down Ego 

version of herself. 

No more self sabotage. 

She was going to trust 

for once. 

In herself, 

in Holy Spirit, 

and

 in the Universe.