Dice it Up

 With all this Fire sign energy firing up her tea kettle,

She was getting ready to blow off some steam, 

and make sense of all that was burning beneath 

the surface...

Just yesterday as she was walking into McDonald's 

to get her usual cup of Joe, 

She ran into an old date way back from the beginning of May.

She remembered not going on a third date with the guy, 

cuz she realized he was trying to make her 

doubt herself with his choice of words.

 

As she walked into McDonalds though, 

he jumped up and offered to buy her breakfast. 

She said okay to a cup of coffee and then

decided to sit down with him once again to just chat.

The chat became another round of let's try again. 

They went out to eat and then for a walk around the lake. 

Things were going pretty well until she dared to 

bring up her previous dating partner and how he 

kept pushing her for sex, 

then threatening to kill her with no remorse.

Little did she know, but this guy was a Capricorn. 

Of all the signs in the zodiac, 

Capricorn took the medal for most Jealous and insecure.

This guy tried to play it off by jokingly sliding in Mocking 

comments every five minutes, but she was onto 

his energy. 

The more he jokingly mocked it, the more drained she felt

each time she laughed at his jealousy ridden jokes.

By the end of the date, 

once again, just as last time, she left him feeling 

pained and drained. 

He had asked her for a kiss somewhere between 

the walk in the park and getting dessert, 

but each time she even thought about it, she felt totally disgusted. 

She couldn't quite put her finger on it until the date 

had come to an end, and while saying good bye to him, 

she said "No... No kiss. I'm not ready for that."

She eventually only after talking things through with 

Holy Spirit, came to understand why 

she didn't feel ready but instead disgusted. 

It was because the whole time he was doing the exact 

same thing as the last guy. 

Trying to get something from her, meanwhile 

also cutting away at her self esteem. 

Why she never text him back the last time they went out, 

came flooding back now. 

D'oh!

Later that night, as she was watching her old 80's shows, 

in chimed Mr. Earnest- 

Straight up no chasers!  

This guy never hid a thing. 

He was all out there up front with anything and 

everything. 

He messages her with something totally 

obscene.

Not a picture. 

Just words. 

At first, she was taken aback! 

Shocked!

Surprised!

as well as disgusted. 

But then she remembered he was just a kid. 

A horny 20 something year old. 

Her cougar days were numbered. 

She was tired of that game now. 

But she knew him from her previous place of employment, 

and so she knew he was just a friend in need. 

However, he was trying to cross the line that night

and she decided to drag him back over to 

his side of the line. 

He mentioned wanting to experiment with an 

older woman, to which she replied... 

"want to know what an older woman can teach you?
And he said yes. 

So she told him to 

"Be a man, get a car, and make enough money to support 

a family,"

Then he would get to experience the sex part. 

He was shocked

 but understood her. 

The next day, 

as she was waiting for her bus to the old school of life.

Mr. Pisces Mini Beers showed up at the bus stop as well. 

He came over and gave her a hug and then sat down 

on the stairs next to her. 

They began talking about his previous 

experience trying to get work, when he reached 

into his bag and handed her a cold mini beer. 

She was grateful for him. 

He was definitely the kindest of all the guys 

that seemed to be all up on her. 

She mentioned something to him about him being 

psychic and immediately he responded with

"How did you know!?"

She said back to him, 

"Because I am too. We are both Pisces, are we not?"

He smiled at her. 

She then asked if she could read him his natal chart. 

He was excited and totally up for it. 

They began putting in the info when the bus passed them by. 

He got up and ran after the bus. 

The bus stopped. 

They both got on and continued their conversation 

as they rode together to the old school of life. 

Half way there, he handed her another mini beer

and they enjoyed talking about how they both 

were the scapegoats and black sheep of the family. 

When they reached the old school of life, they went their 

separate ways. She went to the girls shower and laundry room, 

whereby he went to the men's. 

After finishing her shower and getting her laundry 

put into the washer, 

she pondered why with

 Mr. Mini Beers 

and even

 Mr. Earnestly speaks his mind, 

she felt 

at ease... and even a bit of desire...

possibly lust...

which is why she hinged herself to Holy Spirit's guidance. 

Whereas with the other two older dudes, 

just the thought of kissing them made her want to puke. 

 It was one to really dissect because the two older men

were wise in their game. 

They would cut at her and threaten her in disguise. 

Whereas the two younger boys would 

come at her with what seemed like adolescent false beliefs. 

Yet, she knew it was not her job to mother them. 

Yet,

 what was it about this bad boy behavior of theirs

that she did not feel threatened enough by to make her 

say no to them? 

Could it be that she too enjoyed the game of 

cat and mouse? 

But where was the fine line of true attraction 

versus power, control, and dominion?

Perhaps there was still something to learn here... 

And of course, 

she was the only playing piece at the starting line. 

Should she Roll the dice?

.