He typed into the translator very rapidly,
"I could kill you right now and feel no remorse."
and then he broke out into an uncontrollable cough.
As she read over his words,
her insides told her to End it Now!
Meanwhile, her masculine Ego self quickly wanted
to respond first.
She wrote,
"You have to choose..."
But then as she finished typing the word,
"choose"
Her feminine energy joined hands with her Mars
action energy and along with Jupiter,
they themselves chose.
She grabbed her bag and ran for the hills.
All the while he was trapped leaning forward in
his coughing fit.
As she got to safety,
Holy Spirit told her to lay low for a while.
So she listened.
As she ran over in her mind's eye,
how she ended up meeting Death again....
Holy spirit chimed in and corrected her,
"not Death, Hades". He spoke.
When she heard that name, she knew exactly what it was.
There was a shadow still trapped inside her.
She remembered her Plutonic ex asking her one
last time,
"Are you still craving death?"
To which she casually replied,
"Of course not"
But she never quite understood what was happening
either.
Her Plutonic Ex was from Peru.
He was an Inca.
The guy who she was sitting outside the library last night
was also from Peru.
He mentioned he too was an Inca.
Before things went completely down,
the Peruvian made sure to tell her that 'their'
people were 'Especial'.
Normally, people would look at the word especial
and only define it as extra special.
But to her...
the E-special meant that they possessed a special skill
of
outside in use of Energy...
They were the rulers of Outside in energy manipulation!
But they were not of fault.
She knew that much.
Because the only way their skills could work
was if the person who went to them was out of touch
with Holy Spirit.
In her past lives,
this is how she would suffer her tragic endings
each time.
Her Ego would get the best of her
and run rampant with her Black Moon Lilith minions.
Seeking vengeance plagued with revenge!
Her time had come.
Where she had learned all that she needed to learn
and for once,
Apply it.
And so here she was today,
standing in the bathroom waiting for time to pass,
so she could walk home safely.
As she stood over the sink looking into the mirror
at her reflection,
she asked herself,
"Where are you holding onto shame?"
And she saw the image of her younger self
measuring cake for the biggest piece.
And then she heard the words,
"you don't deserve sh*t!"
There it was...
the moment she had snapped.
The moment where she had allowed for Black Moon
to bring in the shadows
and mess things up inside her.
She became a magnet for misery.
The further she went away from what truly mattered to her,
the easier it became for her to attract death.
Holy Spirit was finally able to reveal to her
that when she was a child being herself,
even if that meant wanting the biggest piece,
which was a normal part of life experiences.
Her brother and sister didn't seem to mind,
and never argued with her anyways.
However, for someone on the outside
speaking over the situation the words that
she was being greedy and did not deserve anything.
This was part of that 'especial' manipulation tactic.
And it had cast a dark cloud over her
for as long as she could remember.
Only she never saw this, because it had taken
root inside her.
It grew into her never wanting to listen to her heart.
But rather only the echo that kept saying,
"you don't deserve sh!t. "
And each time,
this would trigger her Ego to
respond with,
"oh yeah! Just watch me!"
But with that,
she was only going against herself.
And this internal battle was bringing death
closer and closer each time.
It was time to let it all go.
Who she was, and came here to be was
accepted as is by her creator.
Even if external people saw her differently.
It didn't matter.
What did matter though
was how she listened to herself and carried out
it's truth in everything she did.
.gif)
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