As she sat there on her cot in
The school of life once again,
She began to wondered...
Why was she so afraid to move on.
To allow a new experience to occur?
Why was she so scared to let life just happen?
Was it because that's how she had gotten syphilis in the past?
She wondered...
Why was it that when she knew she didn't want a person,
That if she got with them,
For the fun of it,
That's it would cause a disease?
Or would it?
Cuz as she thought more and more
about this,
She realized that when she was with her
Plutonic ex, and she really did want him,
She couldn't for the life of her produce
Anything healthy.
No baby.
No relationship.
No health.
Instead she ended up with the exact
Opposite.
A huge overgrowth of disappointment.
So then,
What was she really holding so tightly to?
There were so many options coming at her
And to each one she would say no of course.
Meanwhile, she was also saying no to
Her joys.
Kissing.
Connecting.
Sharing.
But why?
If she was going to be dying soon anyways,
Since life was not promised.
Why not allow herself to enjoy it?
Why not go for it?
Ugh...
Because of the after shock,
That's why.
She knew that was the one thing
That's could never be escaped.
Sure there was the night of lust and passions
Shared ..
Exchanged...
Exhausted.
But then there was also the aftermath...
The lingering questions!?!
The lingering doubts!?!
The lingering hook of what happens next!?!
It was always the worst part.
The part that couldn't be forgotten.
Ignored.
Avoided.
It was the very part
That's would always destroy her.
And so tonight,
As she sat on her cot,
Contemplating whether or not to move forward with her offers...
She chose....
Her choice
Of choices...
To be continued...
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