Con Troll

 Every time she got together with a guy,

a wrong guy, 

they would drain her of all her creative potential

and time. 

Saturn wasn't happy with that. 

Each time she let go of a bit of her light, 

Saturn was there to put a halt to it. 

And if Saturn didn't scare her enough, 

then surely his father, 

Uranus,

 came bursting in like a wrecking ball!

Needless to say, 

she was now hesitant to even write this blog. 

However, 

since she had been doing her emotional processing, 

she realized that feeling hesitant, was actually a part of 

an oath. 

And oaths came from Eris... 

The Goddess of discord! 

So she decided to come back! 

Her recent experiences had been so much, that she knew 

she couldn't hold onto them much longer. 

Take yesterday for example... 

She had went into the Library to do her usual work, 

when she ran into Aries. 

She called him that, because he was not only an Aries by birth,

but he was definitely a stubborn, fast talking, loud and 

aggressive black dude as well. 

Reminded her of a ram that ran head first into everything. 

She asked him about his P.O. Experience and 

somehow knew he was going to want a beer. 

Now since Aries had a limp and lots of foot pain, 

she took the opportunity to use her magic. 

She offered to go buy him his beers so that he didn't have to walk 

all the way to the store, which he hated... 

However,

 her little magic potion came in when she add the words, 

"As long as you buy one for me too..." 

Aries was more than happy to oblige and even offered to buy 

the cute boy whatever he wanted as well.

The cute boy?!?!

Where did he come from? 

She didn't see him when going up to Aries,

 however, 

it seemed Aries could have a trick or two up his sleeves as well. 

When he went to ask the cute boy what he wanted to drink, 

he stopped and interrupted the boys answer with 

"wait, let me ask your mama..." 

And then went over to the cute boy's girlfriend. 

She laughed it off, but the tension was bubbling. 

Not by the girlfriend... 

But in the air. 

Something was off. 

There was game afoot!

Did she just open up another door to 

what she had already experienced as the wrong way!

But she couldn't help it now... 

The cute boy had popped out of nowhere!

The one with the smile. 

Why was it always the smile? 

It's like she was being reminded of something that 

used to get her in so much trouble. 

Yet,

 here she was, 

opening doors to the underworld just to see them reflected. 

But it was always on cute boys who had not yet 

become men. 

And each time she dared to engage with them, 

and avoid her own Venus calling, 

she ended up suffering the most. 

And so today, 

she awoke once again to a tick trying to 

dive head first into her right thigh. 

She caught him, but still suffered the bite. 

And so she learned... 

Finally, 

that she needed to trust more in her own Venus, 

rather than jump out and throw magic all over the place

just to get what she knew she could get on her own.